Day 53

Been a long day and I have a killer crink in my neck. Got a bridal magazine. Some of the dresses are god awful. Good color ideas and stuff. Also drinking some Dr. Pepper. There are ucky zits all over my face that i wanna make them go away! but the more product I use the worse they seem to get.

I really dont feel like writing right now. Me and mom just got into a little tiff over some really stupid stuff and now im in a crappy mood. I will write again tomorow as well as post pics.

Love you baby, sleep well and have a great day. I will talk to you later. Take care of yourelf.

Day 52

Feeling uber nautilus outta the blue. Only thing not making my stomach turn is water and im cramping. Oh the joy of a menstral cycle.

I love you babe and i always feel very accomplished when i make u laugh like i did today. You bring me so much joy and happiness im glad i bring you some too. Stay safe love.

Day 51

Its been 51 days and can I just say they are dragging on super slowly???? Yesterday feels like a week ago. School is lame as ever, seriously people just dont go, its not worth the stress. The club meeting was ok but the chairs at that school kill my back. they should seriously pay for a chiropracter to see me once a week if they are going to have me sit in wooden stools and hunched over all the time.

Um, not much else to report. Im super tired and have had realy odd dreams which remind me of other odd dreams and its just... yeah.

I gots me some sleepy time relaxation tea and it works so this post is gonna be short cuss ive allready started drinking it and have to get up early to watch Bleach with my baby.

I loves you baby! you make me the happiest girl on the planet earth, even when you are being an insensitive prick. Its ok, I know I can be an emotional bitch so its all even in the end. Even playing field for both of us. Lol, but seriously I do love you and I cannot wait for our Bleach and Face time in the morning. Have an awsome day at work and I will meet you in my dreamz!!!!

Day 50

Today I watched Bleach with my love in the morning, did some homework and the call cut out unexpectedly and he didn't return online. Im not too worried, it was getting late so he probably tried to fix it then went to bed. But yeah, It was a very good morning. I spent the day drawing and I hated it, but I got his bedding sent out so im happy about that. Um, not much else to say. So pics!

I miss you baby, and I hope your computer didn't decide to die on you and that I will talk to you again sometime soon. You are amazing and spoil me and make me uber happy. I seriously cannot imagine what my life would be like without you. You Rock! So stay safe and be healthy, and take care of yourself and know that I love you with all of my heart and soul and cannot wait to see that smiling face of yours once more and hold you in my arms, having you back safe where everything feels right. Have an amazing day at work and I will talk to you soon love.

Day 49

Another lazy night. Lying in bed super tired and just read a chapter in my wedding planning book. Can't wait to watch more bleach with babe tomorrow. Love's you baby. You are my bright shining star and i love you every moment i breath and longer. Have a great day and take care of you.

Day 48

There is no better way to spend the day than curled up in his arms watching and arguing about anime. Unfortunatly I will have to take the second best way to spend the day and thats doing the same thing over webcam. Lol. That is how I spent my day today, procrastinating on homework and chillin in bed, chatting with my baby about how much better some voices were in the japanese version compared to the english version. And he met he goal about getting me past episode 110 which I have to say is an amazing feat. So the pic for today is dedicated soly to how happy he made me by doing something so simple.

For my best friend and love of my life, your favorite character in Bleach.
P.S. I still think he sounds better in the Japanese Version. =P

I love you baby with my whole heart and soul. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me and yu are my very best friend. I am so blessed to be loved by you and to have so many things in common that we can spend an entire day in complete bliss just chatting about an anime. You are my shining star and I cannot wait to spend each day of the rest of my life with you. Take care of yourself and enjoy your work love.

Day 47

So i just got done with an hour long skype call to Justin. It was one of those, we are on the camera but we really arent talking because he is preoccupied with his music device but thats ok with me so long as i get to see him, video calls. lol. We talked all day today though im even though I went back home to see my mom. It was so good to see her because i miss her tons and she is one of my best friends. I also got to see my little fur baby leo and he was so sweet! When i first got there he acted mad at me and wouldn't let me touch him, probably because i smelt funny, but then i went in to talk to my sister and when i closed her door leo was at my heels and then we walked over to my bedroom door and looked at me so i opened it and he jumped up on the bed and we cuddled just like old times. He got me all hairy but was purring and giving me lots of love and kisses. I dont care what people say, animals are smart and have feelings too. I hurt his though, he was on the bed when i was leaving so i petted him and gave him kisses and tried not to cry then when i was in the car he was sitting in the front window so i said bye i love you and waved at him and he meowed at me. Now most people would say that is normal, cats meow, but not leo. He NEVER meows. I think durring the entire four years ive had him he has meowed maybe three times. So he was saying goodbye and telling me not to leave and it almost broke my heart. I miss my kitty so much. Its bad enough being away from the love of my life, and my mom, but to be away from my baby kitty too is almost too much.

I have been making alot of initial wedding plans, its three years away but i figure the sooner i get stuff figured out the more money i can save in the long run. So yeah, i havn't done any homework yet, yes i am a procrastinator, but i have a ton to do tomorrow. Joy, im almost hoping i will catch whatever my sister has so i dont have to go in on monday. Im also really hoping that I will actually be able to sleep tonight. The last few nights i have not slept at all.

Anyways, pics for the past couple of days... yes... not sure where i left off so forgive me if there are doubles.

My drawing for art class, suppose to be trees and fog but looks like an ocean.



My aunts cat Gracie, she sat on my lap and shoulder and she doesn't do that for just anyone. I call her mouse.



Leo as a baby kitten, wasn't he adorable? And he had a purr loud as a motorboat.



My dream wedding dress, and one that I will never have.



Cool wine glasses that intertwine and make a heart. I just think they look cool.



And those are the pics you may or may not have missed the past couple of days. Today I also wanna say I bought myself a planner. Im so happy to be able to start planning.

I loves you baby with all of my heart even when you are in a non talking mood. lol, you are my best friend and im so lucky to have found you and have so much love with you. You are my world and light, and you keep me stong during the long lonley nights. You are everything I ever want and I just have to say that you will always be loved. Have an amazing day love, and I will talk to you again soon.

Day 46

Dont feel much like talking today, got lots of wedding plans figured out so im happy. I really dont want to post pics either. Im just writing tonight because i have to write everyday. It was a good day today.

I love you baby with all my heart and im so happy that we got plans figured out today. You are amazing and I love you with all my heart. You are amazing, sweet dreams love.

Day 45

I feel like crap, and I really dont want to do this tonight. I am the worst person in the history of the universe because I sent justin off to work with the image of me crying over something that shouldn't have been worth a second thought in my head. I am so stupid and if i keep this up I will cause us problems and I hate that I do this. I really feel like shit. No pics tonight, I will post 3 tomorrw.

Im so sorry baby, i dont know what I can do to make this better but just drop it like i should have done in the first place. Please try not to be angry with me. I miss you. This distance is really hard, and im doing my best but im just so tired of being away from you. I know we will make everything work out and I will talk to you in the morning when im less emotional. Please forgive me.

Day 44

Not going to say much. On my phone and super tired. I got my drafting bird and have lots of homework this weekend. Also gonna find a job.

Love u babe have a great day at work and ill hold u tonight in my dreams. Stay safe.

Day 43

Ok, so I havn't done a long post in a really long time and again I dont really feel like it tonight but I am going to try anyways. So today I woke up super groggy because I took some melatonin last night to help me sleep and boy did it knock me out! I was still dozing in and out of conciousness at ten and felt super drained. This sucked because I was also trying to message my baby on skype. But hey, I got some good sleep which I really needed so its not all that bad.

I think my school screwed me over because for my large interior design kit there was not an inventory of what it came with and I found out on monday that it was apparently suppose to come with a small size drafting table sort of thing which i did not get and is kinda a necisity for my program of study. So I get to go in tomorrow and demand one or a refund of all the money i spent. Im taking in my reciept and the inventory I made of the kit. Hopefully they just give me one without complaint otherwise I will be super pissed.

I am determined to find a job, at lunch tomorrow Im also going in and asking them to help me write a resume for handing into different places hiring. Im hoping to get at least two jobs so I can start saving up money and then Justin won't have to worry so much because I will also be contributing to the relationship funds and maybe be able to pay for half of the wedding which would really help out a lot. Plus the more I can save up, the less he has to stress out about his finances until I can get there and help him straighten them out together. Don't get me wrong he can totally do it on his own, I just think its something we can also do together that will help a lot later on down the road. Im excited for the wedding even though I shouln't have let myself get very excited.

Um, other than that im not doing too great on doing the homework on time, but then again my teachers are super slack about due dates so its not that big of a deal. I have no idea what I am going to do for my assignment due monday in art. I have to do 3 different point perspective drawings of a cityscape and im really struggling with it. I seriously have no idea what im going to do and it kinda pisses me off im struggling so much. And my reading/vocabulary has not been getting done in my other class because i feel so drained and the book puts me to sleep. But I have gotten my powerpoint and first quiz done. Drafting is still going really well and Im done with my assignments on time and was even able to do some extra credit.

I opened a bank account to day just to discover that my school comes with one. Weird and crazy I know. Im not too thrilled about it because now I have three accounts and that means three cards. And thats all im saying on the banking front because its probably not the safest thing to talk about online. Justin asked that I send him some sheets so I get to figure out how to fit sheets and comforters into the flat rate boxes fun! its going to be about 30 in shipping alone but im looking for some none pricy cotton bedding for him that I hope to send out next week. And like I allready said im going to do some serious job hunting. I should probably find my key card for school so that I can actually get around tomorrow. Um um um, Im trying to think of things to add to Justin's care package im going to be sending with the sheets. Maybe a pentagram necklace to match mine only longer? that would be a total of 50 bucks to purchase, and who knows when I would get them by. Im going to draw him a cupcake and put it in for his birthday since he wont let me send him any sweets and other than that I really have no idea what to add. I really want to put something in that smells like me, but I have no clue what, I was thinking maybe sleep with a flannel blanket a couple of nights and send it to him. He really doesn't need a whole lot so I have no clue! Plus I cannot figure out what to get him for his birthday because he wont tell me anything. Sadness!

Have I written enough yet to make up for the days I didn't write? Nope not at all, but im still done for today, no more writing im exausted and have no idea what to add to this right now besides rants and rambles. My pic is below, and yes I know im a crappy artist.

I loves you baby with all of my heart and soul, you are my sun and moon and my whole world and you make me fall in love with you even more each and every day. You are amazing. Dont change, I know thats enevitable but never change who you are as a person, who you are at your core. Have an amazing day and I will talk to you later babe.

Day 42

So posting on my phone really just doesn't work all that well. lol, anyways I owe you two pics tonight, and i just have to say i took some melatonin to try to help me sleep and i think its finally starting to kick in. So its just pics tonight and hopefully a full length too long to read blog post tomorrow night. I know ive been saying that for a while but it is my ultimate goal.

yesterdays

todays

I loves you baby with all my heart im gonna go meets you in my dreams and hold you tight and wake up to that amazing smiling face in  the morning when we chat. Have an awsome day at work love, and I am so proud of you for what you acomplished today <3

Day 41

So i have a support page i started and so far its going ok. Im sort of unhappy with it but i can always change and improve it at a later date. Super tired right now and drained. Me and justin had a long serious talk today but everything's ok. Im on my phone so not gonna type much the pic will be somewhere.

I love you babe and today just goes to show we really can make it through anything. You are my everything. Don't forget that. Have a great day and i love you.

Day 40

Its been 40 days and 40 nights. I miss him so much and today i just about had a complete mental break down. I didn't talk to him yesterday and I only talked to him very briefly today to find out why I didn't talk to him yesterday. Yeah I didn't take that well. And to top it off i was so emotionally distraught that I didn't get ANY homework done. Yeah, welcome to my life where homework gets done last minute. If i don't talk to him tomorrow im just giving up.

this is my pic, its old but i didn't feel like taking a new one. Im just really blah today and I hope i get out of the blah mood to type lots more later. I love you babe, so much, and nothing will ever change that. You are my world and my shining star you are my everything and I am yours heart soul mind and body. I miss you with every fiber of my being and I know we will make it through these next couple of months because we have made it through much worse. Love ya babe, and I hope I talk to you tomorrow.

Day 39

almost forgot to write so im gonna keep this short. Didn't talk to Jusin today, don't know why. Gonna leave my comp on and hopefullly he will message me when he wakes up.

my pic it was red friday. I love you babe and i really hope i get to talk to you at some point tomorrow. Takek care and if your still sleping then sleep well.

day 38

im tired and i really dont want to post much tonight. Got to skype with my baby all morning and we spent a good two hours talking about bleach so it was a productive day.

That was my pic of the day, its a re-peat i know but im seriouslly running out of ideas. Soon I will sit down and write one big long update on everything but right now im just way too drained. Baby I love you, stay safe and enjooy your time in germany. You have my whole heart soul body and mind always and forever. I will meet you in my dreamz and hold you tight.

Day 37

Yeah, I dont much feel like talking all that much tonight either. Im so tired after an extra long day at school. So im going to do a brief breakdown of the past two days. After my daily pic.

Good Things:
Got to talk to Justin at school via Webcam (Gotta love ipods) on my luch break. Made my day!
I am now 20
My aunt got me beautimous flowers
and I got two beautiful cards from my aunt and momma
Lots of birthday wishes from friends and family
My support page on facebook is officially up and running
Justin got my letter =D

Not so Good things:
My support page is up and running
I didn't do my homework yesterday (but it didn't matter)
I am super tired, my back hurts and im cranky
My birthday didn't feel like a birthday
I have had crazy weird dreams for a week straight, one had me wake up in tears.
Justin had to clean his room on my birthday so I didn't get his undivided attention.
I need to open a new bank account.
Im broke
I do not really care for my super expensive private school all that much.

More bad than good but thats how it allways goes. I miss my baby, I miss my momma, and I miss having structure in a school setting. I need to find a job, I need to save up money, I need to plan and organize.... I need a fricking vacation! Babe can we go on a honey moon to Japan, I hear they have some amazing spas! Or maybe a deserted island where its warm just the two of us. I know! how about anywhere so long as I am in your arms (and you can give me a much needed back massage, dont worry I promise to return the favor). We don't even need to have a honey moon. We will be in Germany! Thats awsome in and of itself. Baby, I love you, I love you, I love you, You give me something to look foreward to everyday. I love how you make me smile and laugh (especially at myself) but mostly I just love how you are you. Take care of yourself and sleep well.

Day 36

Today I turned 20. It was not that great of a day. The highlight was talking to my love. I really dont want to blog right now, but I have to write something everynight. Im going to watch one episode of bleach and then go to bed, goodness knows I have to be up at an ungodly hour. I promise I will write ten times more tomorrow and talk all about my day.

I loves you baby, have a great day at work and I will talk to you again tomorrow hopefully. Love you and miss you dearly. I will hold you every second in my dreams and always in my heart.

Day 35

I didn't think it would be quite so soon but I really don't have all that much to say. My life is always boring and mondays I go to school, tuesdays I stay home, do homework and talk to my babe, wednesday is school and then thursday through sunday is tuesday all over again every day. Tomorrow may be a bit different, Its my 20th birthday. I wish I was home to see my mom, but im at my aunts. Im sure it will be great tomorrow none-the-less, any day is great if I get to talk to my love. My pics below (yes I am running out of ideas for that too).

I tried two more makeup ideas and then decided to display my favorite brand of lipgoss. Its from bath and body works, smells, tastes and looks great. Yes I taste my lipgloss, you can't really help it. My art all got turned in today and the teacher didn't have anything bad to say about it so I guess thats good. Oh and thanks to Justin (because I really miss him) I have taken to playing backyard monsters. Ugh, and its not a game I particularly enjoy either. I am also back to watching bleach. That boy is such an influence on me.

Babe, you are my entire world, but do you really have to influence the shows I watch and games I play also? Lol, you know I don't really mind and if i hated them I wouldn't play or watch. I loves you babe and I hope you had an awsome day at work and got some really good sleep. (Meaning I hope you didn't stay up all night watching true blood). Which I also really want to watch. lol, I hope I catch you tonight but if I don't you can be sure I will see you tomorrow morning. Miss you babe. Stay safe and healthy.

Day 34

Woke up in the best way imaginable, a webcam chat with my love. He called not me, lol. It was awsome! And I got all my homework done today. And yeah, its just been a good day. I downloaded music, made a playlist, and now have a way to listen to my ipod in my car so im super happy about that. There really isn't all that much more to say. It was a good day, Im happy, and I love my baby with all my heart. My pics below, sorry tonights gonna be a short one.

I took that this morning while my baby whent out for a smoke. I is so happy he is in my life! Avril has many many songs which describe how I feel about him. Her most recent wish you were here really hits the spot and makes me want to cry.

Anyways baby, I loves you and I really hope I get to say a quick hello before you go off to work at that wonderful job you do. I loves you! And tonight I am going to watch an episode of bleach, just for you. Sleep well and I will hold you in my dreams love.

P.S. Yes I do know today is september 11, No I am not going to write anything special about it. I will however say that all of those who have died as a result (in the u.s. and in the middle east and all over the world) will never be forgotten.

Babe you are my one and only my forever. Never change who you are because I love you just the way you are.

Day 33

So I asked J if he read my blog because according to my stats there have been two views from Germany and he was like "You have a blog o_0" so I was all, ok nevermind forget I said anything. And then we joked for a while and he was saying he was going to find it and I said no and he said why do you talk about how much you love or don't love me, and I was like "I would never say I don't love you, I loves!!!!!!! you!!!!!!!!!!!" lol. Yeah, pretty great way to start off my day, well the middle of my day. Last night I felt like I upset him and he was in a very grumpy bear mood. But later when I asked if I had he said NO and got all miffed at me for asking so I don't know whats up with him. Then he played some guitar hero and webcamed at the same time and was very entertaining. I love that boy so much its just, words can't describe the way I feel about him. He is the most amazing man I know, sure he isn't perfect, but its the imperfections I love most. He is everything I could ever want, I just hope one day I can get him to read. lol, Im a big reader, like a huge reader, he isn't.

For art class we had to draw a personal object and I choose OPI nail laquer. The pic of the drawing is below.

Yup, thats all I have to say for today. Babes, I love you, you know I do with every fiber of my being. I hope you sleep wonderfully gloriously well, and I will talk to you when I get up tomorrow since you are probably going to still be sleeping when I head to bed. I love you and tonight I will hold you again in my dreams. Take care and stay safe.

Day 32

I had fun with make-up today, did a rainbow like design on my lips that i loved but my baby didn't seem to love it as much. He said it looked odd. I think I will try to do another design tomorrow. I didn't do any homework tonight... again... didn't feel like it so I really have to do it tomorrow durring the day. I talked to Justin last night and this morning and it made me a super happy girl. I love that man so much! He has no idea how cooco for coccoa puffs I am over him. Probably a good thing too. We talked more about plans and such and we now have a general idea of what to do. YAY! everything is coming together fairly well. The pic will be below, as always.

See, you can kinda see what i did with my lips there. My eyes i tried to make bright too, but that didn't turn out quite as well. Anyways, I think its awsome even if babe doesn't. Love that we talk daily, I think I talk to him more now that i did when he was in NC. But that will change once he meets some new buddies and gets a new schedual down.

Baby, baby, baby, I loves you! and I just have to say you have no idea how much you make me love you and how much my entire being misses you. Everything single thing you do makes me fall even deeper in love, even when your pissing me off, there is a small part of me that always says "would you have him any other way" and I of course say no. All of our hardships bring us closer together, and all of our situations make us closer through communication. I really do love you, and no matter how many times I say it that will never change. No matter what happens we will always work it though. I miss you, I love you, take care and stay healthy. I will hold you tonight in my dreamz baby.

Day 31

Today I was not having a good day. I snapped at my baby, got yelled at by my aunt and just felt alltogether miserable. I had a total of two and a half breakdowns and I still feel like I could cry. My facebook was messing up so i wasn't able to say the goodnights to my baby and felt especially bad about that because of snapping at him when we were talking earlier. He stayed up late so i doubt i will talk to him before work.

And i just have to say i hate feeling stuck. I cannot do much until i have certain things figured out. I hate feeling stuck which is what i am right now because i have done all i can on my side and im just waiting for the other side to get done. And i have lots of homework to do this weekend, and I really just don't feel like blogging because i am being uber negative. So here is my pic of the day. I found it on google images and thought it looked awsome and it made me want to watch bleach.

Baby, I am so sorry for snapping today, it was uncalled for on every level and inexcusable. I have allready abologized to you and feel bad which is why im not saying all this again because you would get irritated at me for apologizing more. I miss you bunches and can't wait to talk to you next. Its something that I look foreward to everyday. I love you.

Day 30

A whole whopping 30 days have passes and sadly I am running out of ideas for my photos of the day. :( You will see just how few ideas I have when you see todays photo. I decided to honor pretzels, my comfort food. Yes I am that sad, or maybe just that tired? It was a really long day today. My back is killing me and my knee is throbbing, and I woke up with super bad nausia I havn't had in weeks. Thankfully school went fairly well. I was able to space out alot, which made me happy, and space out and not get in trouble because it was lab time or work on your drawings time. I was listening to my music during lunch and wanted to sing along, but there were other people in the classroom so I didn't because I didn't want to bother them. But sitting in those chairs all day is seriously killer.

I do have some news to report, my sister did her hair this morning, put on makeup, wrote her assignments down in her planner and did all of her homework without having to be asked. I am in shock but still super proud of her! She is starting off this year in an amazing way!

Justin thinks that simba is a girl no matter how many times I tell him simba is a boy and he insists that simba and charlie have started something. Well Justin, I have a white bear with a blue nose charlie can have at, but he cannot have my lion cub simba! Poor innocent simba. lol, me and my baby have the oddest converstations I swear.

Babe I love you and im super happy we are taking all the steps to do this thing properly. Includding talking about everything. My school seems to be on board, and so I say we have a green light to go as soon as we find out everything. I love you, feel better soon, dont let the flue get you down, learn your German and take care of yourself! The days will pass by quickly, I am going to be heading to bed but I will talk to you after you get off work, have a great day and I will meet you in my dreamzzzz!

Day 30

Day 29

I am so spoiled, not only did I get all of my homeowork done no thanks to my group, but I also talked to my baby for several hours via im on skype. We had a hilarious conversation about bunnies that goes as follows.

J: I think you are slowly loosing your mind.
Me: Psh, never, my mind is completely in tact.
J: oh really, then why must i always try to convince you the pink bunnies are not trying to take over the world?
Me: But they are! You don't understand, bunnies are evil!
J: I rest my case

Then I told him all about bunnicula and he was rolling his eyes at me. Lol, I love that big goofball of a man so much. I chose the perfect picture to caption for the above and so here is my picture of the day.

Pink bunnies, arent they cute? And fit the caption perfectly I mean look at those evil red eyes. So of course I posted it on facebook and some people commented, one of Justin's friends who calls him "prince charming" started saying it was the vegetables that were evil, not the bunnies. ROFL.

Anyways, I can't say too much I really have to get some sleep. Oh I sent my baby his first letter today so hopefully he gets it soon. I love you baby, be looking out for that letter and don't let the flue bugs get you down. You are a wonderful man who I love to death, keep safe and healthy and work on finding out all the info you can. I will talk to you tomorrow or the next day. I love you! Sleep well, have a good day at work and I am going to go cuddle to you in my dreams.

28 Days

Its been 28 Days since I said goodbye to Justin, and today I saw him again for the first time, thats right, he has internet in his room and we were able to webcam. It was a VERY good day today. Webcaming with my love, he told his dad about our engagment, I took them cupcakes and we talked and everything is good. It might take longer than we originally thought to get all the paperwork and such done like saving up money and all that good stuff, but we have a plan and now we are discussing more of the technical details and not the general ones. It has been going good so far. Anyways, not much else to write, I didn't do homework, again, and I am back at my aunts house, I have to finish all my homework tomorrow so no more procrastinating. It's down to the wire now and I hate that so much. My partner hasn't e-mailed me back so I have no idea what I am supposed to do and its frustrating me to no end! But anyways, my picture of the day is below.

Yup, that's my baby. He says this picture is bad ass but I think its cute. He did inform me the only time im allowed to call him cute is when he is asleep and unaware, men, he said i should refer to him as Pimp Daddy Flex, and i posted it to facebook too and he didn't care, said it was about time people got to know the goofball I fell in love with, and who I intend to marry. Im so happy today its been like I was on cloud nine. Two webcam converstations in one day, babe you spoil me, I love you to death you big goofball, you made me smile so much today that my jaw still hurts, I havn't laughed that much since you left. I miss you tons as you allready know, have a good day at work, get some rest early tonight, and I will talk to you when I can. I love you Pimp Daddy Flex... yeah that still doesn't work for me, I love you babe.

Day 27

So today I woke up super early after having really weird dreams and I went grocery shopping with mommy. Then I came home and logged onto the computer hoping that Justin would log on so we could talk before people came over, a friend got there at 10 and he still hadn't logged on and he didn't until 12:30. Its ok though because I got to talk to him for an hour. Then more people showed up to celebrate my 20th birthday early while I was in town with my friends. We had rainbow cupcakes, tacos and pizza. It was uber nummy. And I got to see alot of people I havn't seen in a while and we had a great time watching movies and just chilling. After they all left I tried to get my powerpoint homework done but when I sat down to do it I realized just how little I actually had information wise to create it. So I e-mailed my partner hoping she will get back to me by noon tomorrow or I will have to do it all my own way and possibly fail.

I hate that, The photo of the day is of a friends daughter. It was adorable so I had to share.

I wish you could have been here today too babe, but I know in the future we will share many birthday celebrations together as well as other holidays, I can be patient until then. I was so happy to talk to you today and yesterday about important stuff and just to know that you are doing ok does wonders for me. I had a miniature freak out last night, but Im ok now, things seem overwhelming at times and I just loose it, but the important part is that I am able to pull myself together and be strong when I need to be. I have a major headache and im super tired but Im going to go to bed now. I will be sending you a letter this week so be looking for it. I love you baby with all of my heart, take care, stay safe, and we will talk soon.

Day 26

So today was awsome! I woke up and got all ready to go and I just knew that Justin was going to talk to me today. He did, I ended up talking to him on facebook durring the entire trip up to the mall for the annual shopping trip with my cousins. We got a plan all figured out and I'm super happy and it looks like the school is willing to work with me, I have a meeting with them wed. after my classes to talk everything out and figure out a plan of action.

He seems happy with the plans and is going to start looking into everything officially now that we have a plan of action. But I don't know, I still feel a little eh, I just want to give him a big hug and have everything work out for the best for both of us. I got shatter OPI at the mall, pink, and im super stoked about it, thats my picture for today.

See my pink shatter. Im thrilled, I also got skinny jeans for school and a pretty black top. There was this lady at the makeup kiosk that was super pushy and I think I offended her when I said I didn't like her foundation, but my cousin bought me the eyeshadow I liked as a birthday present and I thought that was super cool of her. Um, not much else to write about really, I didn't do my homework like I had planned. I loves you baby and I think everything is good! I love you so so much and everything will work out great. I cannot wait to talk to you tomorrow. Goodnight love, take care and we will talk in the morning.

Day 25

Wow, 25 days, thats half of 50 and a quarter of 100. It seems like time is passing unbelivably slow. Not much happened today. I took my sister to the doctor, worked more and creating my support page, Did one of my homework assignments, found out more info to share with Justin and watched almost all of the six hour long version of pride and prejudice with my mom.

I have been thinking I may have to take time off from school and continue it in a couple of years, I still have to talk to Justin but that sounds like the easiest way to go from my position. Plus I can always look into schools over there that offer interior design and I may be able to get some credits that will transfer back out of the way hopefully. I dont know, like I said i still need to talk to Justin which hopefully we will be doing soon.

Here is my pic of the day, I am a very crappy artist so please ignore that.

Tomorrow I go shopping with my cousins so im super excited for that and then when I get back I have to finish my homework and sunday I will be celebrating my 20th birthday early. Baby you know that I love you with all my heart and that I will do whatever it takes to make everything work for us. We have a long winding road ahead of us but I know we can work through anything. Hang in there love and bear with me while we talk out all the senarios and choose the best one. I love you! I love you! I love you! and I cannot wait to talk to you again, take care and have fun this weekend. I will meet you tonight in my dreams. Stay safe love.

Day 24

It is thursday, I did not do any homework today, I know im such a bad student. But i drove an hour home and gets to see my mommy. Not a lot happened today besides procrastination. I talked to Justin this morning at like 3 and he was being cute again. Apparently he reads more of my status updates and such than I think because he asked me about a comment I made on a support page. I was a little embarrased but he said he wasn't mad. Didn't get to webcam or anything because his modem is acting up although he has internet and phone now. Hopefully he will get it working soon and we will be able to chat lots.

My picture of the day. I am wearing a braclet for a choker neckalce, I think its cute. So I think I am done with my post for today. I loves you baby you suprise me everday just by being regual old you. Its always nice to see how much you care by the little things you do that I don't know about until later. I loves you so much babe, We will talk via webcam soon. Sleep well and take care.

Day 23

So yesterday had a very short blog, as well as the two days before it. But I now have the time to sit down and write a full on blog about whats up and new with me. Well, I have started school and Im honestly not too sure how I feel about it. It is a private art college and im going to major in Interior Design, im going for my Bachelors. The first day I had to get up hella early like I set my alarm for 5 so I could be up and moving by 5:30 so I could be out the door by 6:20, 40 minutes of traffic later and I arrive at the school and of course the doors are locked, so I wait for 7:30 and then go up and thankfully someone let me in. Then I signed the "sign in sheet" and asked about my badge, they didn't have it. So I went up to my first class. The teacher has far too much energy for it being 8 in the morning and wanted us all to loosen up and play a game of pictionary. I kept getting animals and so I drew them cartoonish. Whatever, then we had to draw a still life and that bugged me because im not a great drawer and didn't want to spend all that much time on it, but I did my best anyways. Then it was time to go and I have very little idea what my homework is for the next class which would be the class today. So I have 20 minutes until my next class starts so I go down to the bookstore to get my books. The line is so long and they have to reprint my schedual so by the time i get out of there I have five minutes to get to my class. I check on my badge and they have me take a new picture and of course I look like crap but it had to be done. So then i go into the building for my class and I go the wrong way. Well I go into the wrong doors and end up getting locked in a stariway and the only way to get out is to use the keycard, which i dont have. So I go outside and walk around the entire building and then go up the stairs and arrive just as they are trying to figure out how to pronounce my name in roll.

Second class started out ok except for the fact I was out of breath and super hungry (because I havn't eaten anything yet) and my vision is starting to go black from lack of food and all the running around I have done. Anways, class gets started and and at break I grab my sandwich and chow it down in five minutes. Then towards the end of class it turns out the bookstore gave me the wrong book, so I have to go down and exchange it and while im there they give me my 5 piece interior design program kit. It takes two trips out to my car to get everything inside and I can barely lift one of the bags. Like its an inch or less off the ground as I carry it to the car. By the time I get back to class its over and I now have an hour with nothing to do. So I call my aunt and talk to her and then end up dozing off for a couple of minutes because I am just that tired. So my third class starts and I find out they gave me an extra book that I don't need at all. So at break I run back to the bookstore to turn it in and I ask about my extra money im suppose to have because there is still supplies I need to buy. Well of course it wont be in until next week. So when im heading back through the entry I take a look to see if my badge is out. There is a badge with my picture but someone elses name, and a badge with my name but someone elses picture. So i take it to the front desk and they say they will take care of it. I go back to class and practice the correct way to draw a line for a drafting class for the next hour plus. Once class is over I ask the front desk if my badge is done and they say I can pick it up tomorrow morning but im not going to make a two hour trip when I dont have any classes. So they say i can get it wednesday at 8 when the doors open, well thats also when my first class starts so I would rather get here sooner thank you very much. Whatever, i go out to my car and drive home. Exausted I chow down two plates of food and then force myself to stay awake until 10 so I can get a decent night of sleep. So I zonk out and don't wake up until i get an alert that Justin sent me a facebook message.

So I talked to him for a while while he was at work then went back to sleep and woke up refreshed. Well my aunt says she will buy my supplies and I can pay her back. So we go shopping and I owe her about 100 of my money from the school, but thats not a problem, I got paper I needed, a backpack and a lunchbox because I need both really bad. So we get back to the house and I freak out because I don't have one sort of paper i need. So I spend like two hours calling different art stores asking if they have it and they dont and finally im on the phone with staples and they say something so I double check all the sketchbooks I got in my kit and of course the paper I need is there. So I wasted time. Then i started getting my schoolwork organized and freak out because the teachers don't work in a way that works for me because two of them are "whatever do what you want for the assignment" and im OCD and need some sort of sturcture or I overthink and end up doing too much. Anyways, once I finally get started on my homework it takes forever. I dont finish until almost 11 and then I zonk out only to wake up at 6:30 today to go back to school. I got my badge as soon as I walked in the door and started the day. And I have to say being much more prepaired helped me out loads. But I still think that two of my teachers need to get better organized, oh well nothing I can do there but adapt. My picture of the day also happens to be a pic of all my school supplies, so take a look below and see what I gots.

Yup thats all my art stuff and I think I can now officially call myself an artist? Well maybe not officially, but I got all the tools and im enrolled and a super expensive school so I better be able to legitimitly call myself an artist at some point in time. I think there was over 100 items in my kit, and its the biggest kit given. Alot of stuff I dont even know what it is or how its suppose to be used, good things i have artists in the family and alot of my friends are artists they will be able to help me out.

So yeah, I think this blog more than makes up for the horribly short ones the past few days. Goodnight babies, I will meet you in my dreams and hold you so tight that you feel it while your awake. Have a great day at work and Im really hoping you got your internet so in the morning when Im waking up and your heading to bed we may be able to skype for a little bit. I love you babe, with all of my heart and soul and I can't wait to hear from you. Take care love, we will talk real soon.