So, where to begin? Well there has been so much going on lately I don't really know where to start. I have had a lot of pent up emotions, and I have been sick for a week, I am drained mentally and emotionally and I just feel like I am done with just about everything and everyone.
Ok, so as far as me being sick. I got sick last Saturday and have spent all week recovering. Right now I just have a really bad cough that makes my sides hurt and I have a lot of congestion. I try to take medicine for it but it doesn't really seem to be working. The only good thing that has come out of it is that I have been able to catch up on sleep and because of all the snow we have right now I only had to miss one day of school. Hopefully this weekend I fully recover so that I don't have to miss anymore. I have learned another benefit of having classes online, you can still get your work done even when your stuck in bed all day!
Ok, so as far as pent up emotions go... I have a really good friend and the past couple of weeks she has said and done some things that pissed me off and hurt me. I didn't know how to talk to her about all of it so everything just stayed bottled up inside me needed an outlet and I couldn't find one so I just kept getting angrier and angrier. Well the other night I was talking to her and she brought up something that I didn't have any idea about and was talking like I knew all about it and I freaked out because I have no memory of ever talking to the person it involves about it. So I called her up because I felt like trying to explain why I was upset on skype wasn't getting me anywhere, and during the phone conversation I felt like she wasn't listening to what I was trying to say and was just brushing it aside like I was freaking out for no reason. Well, needless to say I sent a text to the person it involved asking about it and he said he talked to me about it, but it's been three days now trying to remember and I still can't remember ever talking to him about it. Well he talked to her and then told me I needed to talk to her and have an adult conversation so last night we did a video call on skype because I wanted to say everything face to face. The conversation didn't turn out like I expected it to. Everything seems to be resolved but I still feel like there is more we need to talk about.
Anyways, because I have kept everything pent up it has lead me to feel mentally and emotionally drained and yesterday I spent a good hour crying. I didn't really feel any better when I was done, in fact I just felt empty and done, but I think a lot of that also has to do with the fact I'm sick and crying made it all worse. I have resolved to talk to her about everything that bothers me as soon as it happens so that I don't bottle up everything because I know a lot of it was her saying something and me taking it in the wrong way. And you have to talk about stuff like that or it ruins friendships.
On a more pleasant note, I felt nostalgic on facebook the other day and tried to find a bunch of people from my past. I was unsuccessful for the most part, but I was able to find someone who had been a really great friend who I had lost contact with because both me and him had moved around a lot in the same year. Anyways, now we are talking and catching up and it's been really great. I'm glad sites like facebook exist so that I can find people from my past like that. I am still on the look out for a couple of other people who I use to be really good friends with, but so many years have passed I type in a name and several people have the same name and I don't know what anyone looks like anymore. Oh well, I shall keep my head up and try my best.
I don't know, I think that is everything I really want to say for now. That wasn't quite as long of a post as I thought it was going to be, but I'm not ranting and raving because honestly I just feel empty right now and if I was mad I would have so much more to say but I'm glad I'm not because its not important. I'm done for now, will post more later.
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