So I woke up this morning with a killer headache. It felt like my head had been twisted around in my sleep last night. My neck was definitely kinked. I got up and got dressed and debated about how I was going to spend my day... I had to take my cousin to daycare so that took up a little bit of my time, and then I watched some of a drama... Eventually My grandmother came over and we went shopping. I had some gift cards I wanted to use up and so I went to target and got some of those big hair rollers, which i am going to try tomorrow morning, and I also bought two books. I don't like shopping by myself so it was nice I had my grandma to go with me. My mom had a doctors appointment so I made dinner, (I had to bribe my sister into helping me) we made a sort of baked macaroni and hamburger dish... it didn't taste all that great in my opinion but everybody ate it. Justin called and we talked for a bit, my phone tried dying on me while we were on the phone so I was running around the house like a chicken with it's head cut off looking for my charger before it died. Must have been a funny sight. Now I am bored again. That is a normal daily process in my life however and one I can never seem to get away from. I really should be reading my practical accounting but i don't want to. It's boring and I don't really get it. I'm going to have to get a tutor... so that will have me running around even more places and constrain my time just that much more. GEEZ i wish i didn't live at home still. I wish I could move away, far far away, and take care of myself. Struggle to pay bills, be a starving artist or something. I want to experience life. I mean really experience it and as long as I am living at home still I am not experiencing life.
I get really frustrated with my home life, like many do i am sure, and sometimes i just want to scream and throw a tantrum and break things, but I know that I can't really do that because although I am nineteen I am technically an adult. I can make my own decisions and that means I have to be responsible. I want to make a paycheck and buy my own groceries and clean my own house. I don't know if I want to be married right now, at this moment I would settle for having my own apartment. My room stuffed full of stuff would fill out a little one bedroom or loft apartment quite nicely. I feel like my life is the same thing everyday with very little change or routine. I wake up and go to class or take my cousin to daycare. I come home and procrastinate on doing my homework, and then I am in a rush to get it done. I spend my time doing useless things and the one true joy I have is when Justin calls me. Then he hangs up or falls asleep and I'm back to the monotonous life and when I do finally go to sleep I cannot fall asleep because I feel uneasy. I want some sort of change or variation. But I don't have it. I want some difference but I don't have it. I want to go out and do things but I don't.
Well look at this, this turned into one of those "woe is my life" posts. Isn't that just fantabulicious. I hate it when I do that and complain on and on about useless things that I cannot change. Maybe if I just met some new people that would add some variation to my life, but since I don't really see that happening anytime soon I just have to suck it up and deal with it. Anyways non of this is your problem. It's my problem. It's my problem that I have to deal with and I will. I just needed to let off some steam. Blech. I'm done now. Laters.
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