Day 4

Last night I dreamt my baby was with me again and we cuddled and held each other close knowing he only had a couple of minutes until he had to go back. I didn't want to wake up from that dream because it was so nice, I could almost feel his arms around me.

Last night was hard, i fought sleep for the longest time because I was afraid of having another nightmare. Thankfully I didn't have one. I dreamt of my love.

Today I searched for cheap ways to call each other and I think I may have found one. I sent him an e-mail describing the details.

Today I got a six minute phone call that left me in tears. He was so drunk he was throwing up and he sounded so miserable. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and hold him close. He kept telling me he missed me and he wished I was there, I told him I wished I was there and missed him too. Then he had to leave because he wasn't sure how many minutes he had and I cried so hard because I missed him and I was relieved to finally hear his voice and know he was ok and I wanted to talk to him more. I wanted to be selfish and use all his minutes. I wasn't done hearing his comforting, loving voice. But the phone call had to end and it did. I dont know when I will talk to him next but I really hope that it will be soon.

Yesterdays picture was me having fun with picture effects, and todays was me cuddling with charlie bear and I think the picture actually turned out quite good. Since I dont have any kids to take pictures of I can only take random pics or pics of me doing random things. I have a feeling most of the pictures are going to end up being of me and charlie bear or just charlie bear.

I think they are cute, although some people probably think im silly and pathetic. But hey, I am a hopless romantic with my silly and pathetic moments which I actually have quite often and my baby loves and accepts me anyways. Im pretty sure the silly stupid things I do make him smile more than anything else even though he would never admit it. He likes to act all tough, but im slowly breaking down those walls he has up. I love my baby and I am so thankful, so greatful for the call today. I hope I get another soon or he gets internet soon. Either one would work for me really. I miss him so much but im glad he is safe. I love you baby, take care of yourself.