Yeah, I procrastinate.... So sue me.

So I am sitting in my room and I just got done watching the movie Legion. I think its a pretty good idea for a movie, sure some of the things they put in there were like "really? OK nothing new there, boring moving on." Like the little old woman who attacked the people. PLEASE! Do you know how many movies do that? I would have been more surprised if it was some punk rock chick or something. And the lines they used. OMG! Soooo cheesy. "You are the protector you always have been." "I didn't even want the baby" then later "give me back my baby". Then the whole thing with the ice cream truck and the ice cream man, and the little boy. It irritates me a little that they couldn't come up with something more original. About the only original/new idea I really saw through the course of the movie was the fact that it wasn't demons, but Angels. Now that was pretty cool. Having God's angels be all demonic like. But other than that I really didn't see anything about it that would give it a outstanding review. Come to think of it, I don't even know how the movie did in sales and theaters. Oh well not important. Moving on.

As my title says, I am procrastinating. I should be doing my Practical accounting homework. Instead I'm writing this blog. I don't even know why, it's not like anybody reads it or anything. OK so my post about operation sweetheart got some hits, but really I'm not all that surprised. Not that I am complaining or anything. Everyone has the right to choose to read this or not. Its just, if no one is reading then why am i writing? Its not like I don't have a diary I could write this stuff in. Sure typing is easier but if it was really all that important don't you think I would take the time to write it all out. I guess that's where we get to the point. It's not important. Its random and I tend to ramble and repeat myself. A LOT. I know I do this so really its more just for me to ramble on and on and on and hey, if people happen to read my ramblings great. If not that's cool too.

I was thinking about all this last night and telling a friend about it who also has a blog of her own. She was giving me ideas about what to write about and since my boyfriend is in the military a lot of her suggestions had to do with writing about how a military girlfriend feels and fears about choosing this lifestyle. Sure I may touch on these points every once in a while, but its not the main thing I want to talk about. No offense to all those people out there who have army wife, navy mom, marine girlfriend blogs. If that's what you want your blog to focus on, more power to you. It's not however what I want to focus on.

Yes, my boyfriend is military. He is a soldier and being separated from him is hard. I hate not knowing when I'm going to see him again and I refuse to dwell on my fears because then I might break down. Bottom line is I didn't fall in love with him because he is a soldier. If i had my choice in the matter I would have chosen any occupation but that. I remember being five years old and telling myself I was never going to fall for a soldier (OK so maybe five is exaggerating, but I was really young OK). I fell in love with him for the man he is. The fact he is a soldier and protects our country and its people, that's all great. I am very proud of him for choosing to serve. I'm just saying there is more to my life than being a military girlfriend. I feel like by now some of you may think I'm putting down the army and all the people affected by it. That is not my intent at all. I am trying to get my point across and I feel like I'm doing a horrible job of it. Justin is a soldier, I am proud he is serving in the United States Army, I will try not to dwell on the fact that he is always gone and may have to deploy again. I will use my blog to talk about other things (occasionally military girlfriend stuff) and just try to keep my mind off of the fact that the man I love is not near me. That he is in dangerous situations. And while I am proud of him I personally don't feel like shouting it to the world because then I get depressed.

I think I made my point. Not as eloquently as I would have liked true. In fact I feel as if what I just wrote is putting people down which really bugs me because that was not my intent. (See I've already said this and now I'm rambling again). I seriously have a deep respect for everyone in the military and those who are affected by it. Granted it's a new-found respect because before I got involved with Justin I hardly gave those people a thought, but the point is I see how hard it is and I can only imagine what it must be like for those who are married and have children who cry because mommy or daddy has to be gone. I feel like I'm botching up again. My thoughts are scrambled and not coming out clearly. Before I move on to another topic I am just going to say that I am really, really sorry If i offended anyone. It was not my intent. I have a deep respect for everyone who lives or is affected by a military lifestyle.

Now I'm going to move on before I bury myself a deeper hole. Lets go to school. School is a safe topic. I am taking four classes this quarter, three are online and one is on campus. I am going for an office administrative assistant degree. The classes are fairly easy and a lot of the time I feel like I'm re-learning things I already knew or that I should be going for a harder degree but I choose this one and I'm going to see it through. Hey at the very least it will get me a job, right? Hopefully anyways. I am really tired of writing. So I am going to leave it here for today. Again sorry if I offended anyone. Not my intent. I will post later.