Day 145 Happy New Year!

It has been an extreamly long year, with a ton of stuff happening, both good and bad. I miss my love tons but with the new year im even closer to being with him at long last. So I guess I can wait another month or so. Its been a blah day so far, trying to figure out what to wear to the parties tonight.

Baby I hope you have an amazing new year. Get hammered like you normally do, and I really hope I get a quick chat with you. But if I don't I will at least know that you had sooo much fun. We are that much closer to being together babe, not too much longer. Love you!

Day 144

Got a haircut, spent too much money, had fun girl time and got to  hang out with my brother today. Yup, good good day.

Love you baby, have a great new years!

Day 143

Well, today didn't go completely as I had planned and I wasn't really able to have face time with my baby so im kinda in a blech mood. Lots has been on my mind. I really need a good nights sleep!

Baby, love you and miss you so so much. I wish time would hurry up and pass so I could be with you again. Hope you had a great day, I will talk to you soon.

Day 142

My body hurts sooooooo bad. I don't think ive ever been in this much pain. It feels like my bones are bruised. Ugh. And im tired and going to be headed to bed very soon because I need some good sleep. Maybe I will drink some tea tonight to help me relax. Anyways, I'm excited for tomorrow. Bridesmaids Dress Fittings! Yay! Can't wait for some good ol gal time. Wish my matron of honor was in town so she would be able to join us. But it is what it is. There will be plenty of time to catch up and have fun with her later. Ok, this is seriously a short post for tonight. bye all.

Baby, I love you! I hope you sleep well! And have a great day at work! Kisses and Hugs!

Day 141

Everything is all good and a okay again. Glad thats over. Stressful mutch? But it all went relativly smoothly which makes me happy. Left work early today because my vision kept going black and I looked like a corpse. I was super not stoked to be there. But thats life.

Baby, I woves you sooooooooooo much. Glad we worked through this random pot hole. Talk to you soon. Have a good day.

Day 140

And just when I thought things couldn't get any crazier. Well they did. Not that I'm going to share any of that personal information with all of you strangers who just happen to read my blog. I'm just saying that things got a whole lot more interesting in my life. Work is long, I don't know how much longer I will be there but its all what it is. Hopefully some people throw in a good recommendation for me and they decide to keep me. Christmas was so so. I really wish I was with my baby already.

I love you baby, stop being so damn stubborn.

Day 139 Merry Christmas!

Oh lordie its been a long day. First off I couldn't get to sleep until after midnight, then I woke up around 6:30. We opened presents and then I was able to talk to the love for a little bit until we went to christmas breakfast and then after that we went straight to christmas dinner at my aunts house. I left early because my back hurt and I was in a lot of pain and I almost made it home in time to catch baby but he logged off before i could talk to him. Its really early morning for him though and I don't know if he has to work the day after christmas or not. I got lots of little stuff for the kitchen wich will be awsome for baby and me once we get married, and all the money I got is going into the savings for our wedding fund! YAY! I got basically half of it today back so im pretty happy. I also got a squishables fox and some jewlery. Its been a really good christmas and since I can't talk to my baby right now, I really wish my mom was home so I could spend some time with her before I have to go to sleep for work tomorrow.

Baby, i hope its just a coincidence that you logged off right after i messaged you saying I was on my way home... Im just kidding, I know it was late and you need sleep. I was actually suprised you were awake as long as you were. I missed you this christmas, I miss you everyday of course but thinking of how we were together last christmas made me even sadder we were apart for this one. Next christmas we will spend together though and I look foreward to joining you (hopefully) very soon. I love you baby with all my heart and soul and I will talk to you tomorrow. XOXOXOXO

Day 138 Christmas Eve

I am so glad that its evening and I am in bed. Im sleeping just as soon as this picture and blog post are done. I hope everyone has a very merry christmas.

Merry xmas eve baby I love you with my whole heart and I really wish you were here to celebrate with. Have an amazing day love.

Day 137

Long day, got an extra half hour at work which was good but i got super nautious and a bad pang running through my head and cramps. Not really all that much to say tonight. I love you baby!

Yes you, you meanie you. Im just kidding your not mean at all. You are awsome! Im gonna stop typing now because i think its annoying you. lol have a good night dear.

Day 136

So much to do and so little time. Oh well, there will be time enough. I just got off work and of course im wide awake, dont you just love that? I work until 11:30 tomorrow, which is a really odd shift but its whatever. Had a blonde moment today. here is my post off facebook:

My blonde moment of the day:

So I'm at work and I hang up with a customer and turn around. Here is the conversation that ensues.
Associate: "Are you Mary?"
Me: "No engaged"
Associate: *gives me a funny look* "Marys not here right now" *Hangs up phone*
akward silence
Me: "Did you say Married or Mary? because I heard Married"
Associate: "I said Mary"
Me: *Face heating up like a lobster* "......well im embarresed"

In my defense he has a slight accent and his "y" sounded like ied every time he said it. But yeah, just thought id share that with you all.

yup, good times. Baby, thank goodness you love me despite my blonde moments like above and maybe your right, maybe I do need hearing aids. Anyways I love you, sleep well and enjoy your friday, saturday and christmas!

Day 135

Had an early day of work, but that means I got off early. Finished my christmas shopping and visited with a good friend and her family to exchange gifts. She got me a new blanket to replace the one I sent Justin. Thank you! I need a nice comfy blankie to keep me warm and this will definatly do it. Saw two of my favorite kiddos, and two of my favorite older kiddos and had a really good time. Then I got to talk to my baby a little, thank goodness he was in a good mood. But now he wants a pixie bull frog, snake and spider as well as three dogs... yeah babe, we'll talk.

I loves you have a great day at work and stuff and I will talks to you tomorrows. Muah!

Day 134

Hungry hungry, thats all thats going through my head right now. Im going to go heat up some food and watch the most recent episode of glee..... scratch that im going to go to bed because I have to work semi-early tomrrow. Damn, no food for me.

Baby! I'm so happy you are in a better mood this week so far. I will UN-tense and stop getting on guard about the random things you say. I loves you! I hope I dream of your warm loving arms tonight.

Day 133

So I have a really bad headache caused by a knot at the base of my skull and horrible back ache so this post is just a basic check in.

Baby, love you, can't wait to talk to you in the am. Hope you have a great day!

Day 132

Things are going swimmingly, thank you for asking. This weekend was fun, babysat two of my favorite "kids" I say "kids" because one is a teen and the other is a kid and I was more house-sitting than babysitting but it was fun non-the-less. We have everything we need for the proxy money wise, so baby is gonna fill out the paperwork and get it sent my way. I'm excited, one step closer to being in his arms again.

I love you baby, you have no idea how amazingly wonderful you are to me. Please, don't change, I love you just the way you are, roller coaster and all because everyone knows I have roller coasters enough of my own.

Day 131

Its been a loooong day! I am very tired and ready to go to bed but at the same time wide awake.

Baby I love you, but you really need to stop this roller coaster we are on. Sleep well love we will have a good talk tomorrow. I can't wait until you hold me again, until I am in your arms I wont feel complete.

Day 130

Babysitting two fun boys this weekend. No idea what we are going to do to keep ourselves entertained. I really dont feel like blogging about much so this will be uber short.

Baby,  everday you suprise me. You fill me with so much joy and laughter, and while the distance is tough, I know that it will end soon. You are my everything, I dont ever want anyone but you and I will love you my entire life. I can't wait for the holidays to be over, I can't wait to be in your arms once more. I know its hard and things feel impossible, but we can do it. I love you, with everything I have and everything I am. Always and Forever, you are my eternity.

Day 129

Just a short little post for tonight.

I love you baby, always and forever, no matter what.

Day 128

So tired, picked up two hours to make up for yesterday. Going to be alseep here very soon. I have a very short fuse these days and people keep ignighting it with their  stupidity. I mean really? just REALLY? your that dumb? Ugh! Makes me wanna throw a chair at their stupid face. Good thing I worked in the stockroom most of the day.

I miss you baby, I demand cuddles now! I know its not doable so I will cuddle to charlie bear and call it good for now. Loves for my love

Day 127

I left work early because i was super nautious. I feel better now that im lying down and not standing. I wish baby was here to cuddle me. I love you baby, hope you sleep well and I miss you sooooooooooo much.

Day 126

Ugh tripple digits. Its been a long day again at work. And a long day emotionally. Im very much ready for sleep so this post is at an end.

I love you baby, sorry i didn't get home in time to talk to you. Hope you have a great day at work and that I get to talk to you for a little while in the morning. I miss you

Day 125

I was so tired after my super long shift yesterday that I was such a grump this morning. I dont know how my family puts up with me sometimes. Work went well, I sold a couple of handbags and earings and watches. A pretty good day, too bad there wasn't a sales goal to meet. Oh well, there will probably be one tomorrow. Which I dont close at all this week and Im not really sure how I feel about that. I kind of hate leaving the store when there are still people walking around in it. At lunch today my future mother in law and brother in law came to visit me at lunch which was nice. She made me some nummy sweets for christmas and gave me a pepermint headache tonic to put on my forehead which was really nice of her. I wish I didn't work so much then I could visit everyone but lately if im not at work im home resting for work the next day so I havn't been able to see anyone. :/ I feel really bad too because Ive been meaning to visit my future father in law and other mother in law since I got back like four weeks ago but I have just been so exausted with work and so busy that I havn't been able too. Im hoping on friday before I go over to babysit the boys for Cindy I will be able to stop in and see them for an hour or two. I have decided everyone is getting cookies in a tin can for christmas because I can't afford gifts. Blech! I hate the holidays, its become soooo comercialized. And it doesn't help im working in a department store because I see TONS of crap that I would like and I have to remind myself the whole time at work "you can't have that, you need to save up". I would just like a little something new for me. But oh well. Thank god I dont have kids right now, im still way too selfish to put aside my wants for others, im having a hard enough time putting my own needs ahead of my wants. Its horrible. I think im going to make myself some tea and sort through my jewlery tonight. I have a huge jewlery box my grandpa gave me on my eighteenth birthday (I belive) but It has just accumulated a whole bunch of junk I never wear and half the stuff just needs to be thrown away so thats my project for tonight. I figure even if I work I still have projects around the house that need to get done. The day after tomorrow im going to tackle my shoes and then probably my books.

Baby, I love you. Thats really all I have to say today. I love you.

Day 124

It has been an extreamly long day, my shift at work was extended about five hours extra and I have to be up at 11 and working tomorrow so I have to get to sleep soon. Sorry there has been tons of short posts lately.

Baby, I love you, I really hope I get to talk to you before I go to work in the morning. Sleep well <3

Day 123

Long day, started out really crappy too. Got lots of sleep but baby went to sleep straight after work so I didn't get to talk to him. Finished watching gargoyles and the final season kinda sucked because it only wrapped up like two of the twenty plot lines it had going. Then I figured I would call and talk to a nurse because Im on my period again, and its been fairly constant over the last month and a half, which is not good. That doubled with dizziness, lower back pain and headaches makes me worry. Yes I am eating for those who think im anorexic. I am not anorexic. I thourally enjoy eating food and would eat a heap load twice a day but if I eat too much I get nautious. So its my body, not me, that isn't a fan of the food. The doctors werent helpful at all, they think its the implanon im on which i really doubt since I had this problem before getting it. So they transfered me and then told me to go see a doctor. Hello people, i have seen three different doctors about this, none of them tell me anything new, most of the time they say give it time and see what happens or they just ignore the issue completly and go after something else they think is more important. So I hate doctors. Then I showed up at work a half hour early. Work was slow but not too bad, I was in childrens so I got to see all the cute clothing and wish I had a baby I could buy it for. It did get me thinking about the christmas presents I need to buy and how im going to budget that. Ugh. Everyones getting cookies. Or something cheep along those lines. So off work now and baby is finally online so im going to be able to talk to him and hopefully that will help. And as if this day couldn't get any worse, my grandma went to the urgent care clinic because she is mega sick and not doing well.

Baby, can you be here right now so I can fall asleep in your arms and forget about dumb and stupid days like this? I would really appreciate it right now. I want to have a needy day. I know its not doable now but watch out because when i get there I may cling for a month or so until you get so fed up with my clinginess you threaten to send me back to the U.S. :p

Day 122

Long day, still uber tired and my feet and stomach hurt alot. I work 4 to closing tomorrow so I have to make sure to get lots of sleep. Still no claddagh. I should probably give up hope of finding it but I cant.

Baby you are my everything. Have an amazing day.

Day 121

So tired yet so wound up at the same time. I can hardly even type right now im making so many typos and deleting and retyping so this is gonna be short. Still no sign of my ring. Im resigned to its loss and grieve although my baby bought me a new one. He is so sweet. It wont ever replace my other, as nothing can truly replace something else, but with it I can create new moments and memories and bind myself to it. It has emeralds and diamonds and is gorgeous. Ok I seriously can't type anymore

babe, not sure if I will chat with you at lunch like i wanted, i need to try and get sleep. I love you, thank you so much for the claddagh, you really have no idea what it means to me. Take care and I will chat with you very soon. Love you dear heart.

Day 120

Long day, woke up crying over my ring with a killer headache. Talked to the love, well we didn't really talk so much as he watched his shows and I fell asleep on him while webcamming and then he played video games and I watched gargoyles, but still it was time spent together. When he went to sleep I napped for three hours, so Im not tired now which sucks as I will wake up at my normal 7'oclock time in the morning. Um, not really much else to say, work was slow, I closed, made more money at least. Work in traditional tomorrow, fun stuff, I close again at 12:15, I really have no idea why macy's feels the need to stay open until midnight when we are dead around 10 anyways. But thats the companies business, which as I am a lowly worker must follow. No one turned in my ring today and it upsets me a great deal that I am still without it. I got the loves watch resized so I know that at least will stay on my wrist, and my promise ring does not slip and slide on my finger at all so thats good. I took off my other rings, I refuse to loose any others although I really wish I would have lost any but the clauddagh (and of course my promise ring).

Baby, I hope your day is as good as it can be all things considered and that if I don't speak to you after you get off work you have a wonderful nights sleep (although I really hope I talk to you). Loves loves for the love and we will talk soon. Thank you for putting up with my silliness today. It really meant alot to me although you should probably work on the way you word some sentences. I still love you though.

Day 119

I lost my claughdagh ring ( I know i mispelt that) Im bawling my eyes out right now because I feel so naked without it. I have worn it for over three years straight. That little piece of metal and I have been through so much together and I want it back, right now. I am just thankful it wasn't my promise ring I lost, I would have broken down in the middle of the store in a catatonic state if that had happened. But still, It was so hard to hold myself together until the other guy I was working with got back from break and then I could hardly hold back the tears and when I got to the break room I just let it go. But now the tears are back because im so heartbroken, Usually when it falls off I find it again right away. I dont think I ever want to wear jewlery again (besides my promise ring) because I dont want this to happen.

Baby, I really need you to hold me right now, stupid as it is, this is one of those female moments where I just need you. I seriously can't wait to be with you again, that would make this so much easier right now if I just had you. I hope you have a good day at work though. I love you.

Day 118

So today was a good bad short long sort of day. Woke up and the love was still asleep, so I wasted time on a pointless errand. Then love got online and we chatted for a bit with a little tift here and there as he thought since he had just woken up he was allowed morning grumpiness and I informed him it was my morning so my grumpiness was the only one allowed. It was quite hilarious. We unloaded moms car and then went to our Davids Bridal appointment. I tried on dresses with my mom which was an experience I always wanted to have with her. We took several pictures and I like ones in the pictures I remember not liking on me. I showed the love them and in one of them he said I looked fat. Thank you I love you too. Lol, thankfully it was the one I hated most. Then me and mom went shopping, came home and cooked, ended up having to get pizza because there was weevles in the flour. Me and the love talked some more before he had to go and do his manly things. Im happy that I dont work until 4:45 tomorrow and 4:15 the next day, and that next week even with two days of im still getting 37.5 hours. My first bill came into the mail today so bye bye paycheck. And i was yet again unable to get a haircut. Oh well, tis the daily boggle called life. Now I am exausted and highly debating on sleep since i wont be able to sleep in long in the morning. So with that I bid you all a farewell and goodnight.

And to my dear heart, you are the most infuriating frusting man in my life and I love you more than anything else in the world. Dont you ever change, I love you just as you are. Heres to holding you tonight in my dreams love.

Day 117

I seriously hate arguments and baby and me have been getting in little tiffs the past two days. Im on my period which is a very large part of it because I am ten times more sensitive and moody than when Im off it. So I seriously hope he can keep his sanity when hes around me and im like this 24/7. I am uploading some pics to facebook and then I think im going to make a blog post thats not a part of the countdown, I would just write it all here but it just wouldn't feel right since the subject matter is completely different. Or maybe I will write it in my poetry blog since it would fit there better anyways, yes I think that is what I will do. Im going to try on wedding dresses tomorrow with my mommy and I have started my registries. YAY! Super excited. I dont work today or tomorrow so im enjoying my time off and I got everything from my aunts house so thats good.

Baby, I apologize for my crazy mood swings. I have been stressed out and humanities stupidity has gotten to me even more than it normally does, you probably know why. But im still trudging on and going through each day one at a time. I really, really miss you, broke down tonight sobbing because of the ache your absense leaves. I know it will be filled soon and I look foreward to that immensly. I love you baby, with all my heart and soul. You have all of me, always and forever.

Day 116

So done so done so done. I dont even have the energy to type anything. Forgot my water bottle at work. Lame. I love you baby, I hope you sleep well and have a good day and I will talk to you when I wake up in the morning. Oh and I got 41.5 hours next week! Yay for trading shifts!

Day 115

Long long day, so so tired. Ready to pass out and not wake up for a thousand years. Tomorrow I work 4 to 11. yay! I like the late night shifts. Lots figured out today. Lots of stress too and several ounces of tears shed. But its all good now! Im seriously going to bed as soon as I upload everything to facebook. Baby you make me more happy then you will ever know every single day. You are the light that keeps me going. I love you.

Day 114

Not much to post after my epic rant last night so im just gonna say long day, love my baby, and finally got around to repainting my nails. Now for a couple episodes of gargoyles before I hit the sack. Baby, this is definatly a show you and me are going to be watching together curled up eating junk food. I enjoy those moments most and there is no one i would rather do that with than with you. Have a good day and sleep tight.

Day 113

Omg, so people seriously piss me off. I bought a gate to put on the door in my room so my sisters old cat can't get in because she is old and dying and likes to pee on everything including my $50 boots. And I posted this information (I did not say she was an old cat because I was pretty sure saying she peed everywhere implyed this) and some chick was like "I hate to tell you this but cats can jump". No shit! Its not like I havn't lived with cats my entire life and didn't go out and buy and expensive gate just to have the damn cat jump over it. If she could jump over it why the hell would I bother to buy a fucking gate in the first place? Im not an idiot! I do have a brain, and it does function. Fucking people. Im sorry she might have meant well, but really a comment like that is just bitchy all the way around. And while im on the subject of stupid shit people post on facebook, if your having issues with people giving you shit about something, dont fucking post it on facebook! If you post a picture of a bleeding hand, expect comments, if you post a picture of a car wreck, expect questions, if you post pics or status updates that let people know what your personal life is like they are going to comment and if they dont like what they see cause drama, so if you going to post it either shut the hell up and dont complain or just dont post it period. Yes its your wall and you can post whatever you want, but at least delete the people giving you a hard time. GEEZ! You would think that some people would learn. But no, drama drama drama. Makes me want to delete my facebook because I have to deal with stupid fucking people all the time. And i totally would if Justin didn't use it to keep up with me and stuff when we can't talk like we do now. Gah, I totally love ranting makes me feel alot better. Wish I could just tell everyone what I thought right away and just list it off, but then id have a ton of people bitching at me. Bottom line is, if your not smart enough to filter what you put on your profile for whoever is on your friendslist or the world to see, dont complain when it bites you in the ass.

Babe, I feel much better after my rant. And now I wont have to rant about this to you later which im sure you will be happy about although I know you totally agree with me. And that is why we get along so well, we have similar opinions about things. Anyways have a good day, hopefully I will feel less bitchy when i wake up and talk to you in the morning.

Day 112

Ugh long annoying day of talking to tons of different people on phones and stuff. Work wasn't my favorite today, maybe im just tired, but my shift tomorrow is a shorter one so I will be able to have a break which is good.

Baby! you totally freaked me out when I saw I had missed a call from you but then we were able to talk and it just turns out you forgot I was working! silly boy. I really do love you, I wish you could cuddle up to me and keep me warm. I needs my heater. Loves you love

Day 111

So today was a very long but good day. I have decided to avoid working sundays if at all possible because they are the devil incarnate and go by way too slowly, my hour lunch felt like three hours of torture. But I got to talk to Justin lots and we were both in really good moods. I was so hyper after work and was talking so fast im suprised he was able to understand me. I also have my schedual for next week all put together, working 39 hours. YAY! Long shifts but its all for the monies! Which is very important.

Baby! I really do love everything about you, even the parts I dont like so much I still love, I mean personality wise, your physically attractive to me in every way possible and when I see you.... oh yeah. But anyways, thank you for the good laughs tonight, I needed them. I hope you have a great day and work and I will talk to you in the morning!

Day 110

Such a good, long day today. Woke up to a strang drunken message from my baby which was nice and made me smile like an idiot, and then we video chatted for like five hours, even though I probably spent three of those sleeping and another one and a half was spent with both of us watching our own anime/cartoons. He was watching cowboy beebop and I was watching Gargoyles. But we did have a really good chat with each other, got some important things discussed and found his rings we want to buy, now all he has to do is pick out a watch. That boy is just as bad as me, I swear. Between the two of us our closets are going to be overflowing, there will be three jewlery boxes, and we will constantly be having to budget for our expenses! lol, no it probably wont be that bad at all. We are really good about compromising on things. Do men have jewlery boxes? I wanted to get Justin a nice box to put his rings and stuff in when he isn't able to wear them for work and stuff. That will of course have to wait for a while since im trying to budget three major expenses at once but its something to keep in mind as a present. So after I talked to Justin I went to work and that went really well, I met this new chick that was really nice and I liked talking to her even though she reminded me eerily of someone I know and dislike greatly. That was confusing. And then one customer cried on me because she has had a lot go on in her life and I just gave her a big hug, I wished I could have done more for her. Then I closed, got my paycheck and came home. Got on facebook with my head spinning like crazy for 15 minutes. Did my photo of the day and now im writing my blog and thats my day in a nutshell. At least my back and feet dont hurt nearly as bad as they did the first couple of days, I think im getting use to this whole work thing.

Baby, i really wish I could be with you right now and be your nurse to help you get better, I hate that your sick and I can't do anything for you. This first paycheck wasn't alot so im going to buy a couple things I need and the rest of the paychecks after this go straight to the savings. I hope your feeling much better soon and get lots of your schoolwork done. I really do love you with all my heart babe and I can't wait until I can hold you in my arms again, curl up real close to you and listen to your heart beat. I hope when you wake up you feel much better so get a good restful nights sleep and I will talk to you in the morning baby. love love

Day 109

So had a super long day, woke up at 2 which was 2 hours earlier than I planned to but at least I was able to talk to Justin for a bit and that made me happy. Work was long, almost threw up twice, and was nautious all day after that and im tired right now but I can't get to sleep. I uploaded pics onto facebook today and that was fun. Ok, im done typing can't think of anymore to say.

Baby, loves you, hope you feel better and less grumpy when I talk to you next mkay, remember happy thoughts.

Day 108

Going to sleep getting up at 3. The joys of working. Baby i know you don't like the holidays and don't feel good but don't take it out on me i can only handle so much. I love you very much and that wont ever change. I hope i can talk to you before work.

Day 107

I did not work today, but I did watch my baby play video games all day. Now that may sound creppy but its just kinda what we do, we skype even when we aren't necessarily talking, it makes me feel like we are in the same room together and not thousands of miles apart. I dont work tomorrow but i have to make sure I sleep lots because I work black friday... joy. And my room is extreamly creepy tonight, damn looks like no sleep tonight. But i hope my baby sleeps well and feels better, he thinks he might be getting sick.
Baby, you should just admit you bought skyrim for you and not me, even though I don't think you would have bought it if i hadn't said that i wanted to play it... so my bad there. But I love you anyways. I hope you are having lots of fun and that you have a great thanksgiving. I love you baby and I will talk to you as much as possible tomorrow. Feel better loves.

Day 106

Such a long but good day. I didn't work until noon so I got to spend some good quality time with my baby on skype this morning which of course put me in a good mood all morning. I made a small mistake at work, told the manager, and he told me it was alright and now I knew so just not to do it again. So I was glad I didn't get in trouble. I also made past my sales goal for the past two days and signed up two people for macy's cards the past two days. So yay me! Alot of people allready have macy's cards who shop there which is nice because its the easiest to work through on the register. And im finally getting the hang of stuff, I still can't help individual people in the departments because I don't know the merchandise nearly well enough but that just sort of comes with the teritory of being flex. So I think im just going to focus on putting the merchandise back where it goes and ringing people up. Today was also my short day though and I dont work for the next two days so hopefully my feet will get a break and I can start wearing them in again when I go to work 5 am on black friday. Anyways, my baby should be back to his room to talk sometime soon, at least i hope so, I really wanna see him and let him know how im doing with work.

Baby, you are seriously the light of my life right now, whenever I think of how hard work is and how I just wanna quit, I think of you and all the crap you would give me if i did and then i smile and laugh and remind myself that even though it wont be much, we are going to need this money in the future. I really wish I could con you into a foot rub right about now, but thats just not possible so I will settle for some silly antics please, I need my dose of laughter and you are the best medicine I could ever have. Thank you so much for everything you do, you seriously have no idea how much you mean to me and how much all the little things mean. I love you baby, forever and always.

Day 105

Tired, aching feet, so this ones going to be short. Long day at work, working tomorrow in childrens so that should be fun. Hoping to get plenty of sleep tonight, last two nights havn't been good for me sleep wise.
Baby, i love you and im so glad you liked everything i sent you, sorry its such an early christmas present, timing the mailings is so weird. But yeah! glad you like your xbox too. I just really wanna cuddle with you right now, mkay? So c'mere and cuddle with me just as soon as you possibly can and I be a happy Tami.

Day 104

Went through the whole day at work thinking I did really great just to get home, write down my schedual for the week and realize I made a huge uh-oh. Oh well though, not much I can do about it now, whats done is done. Anyways, im so tired, I didn't reallize it was possible for my back to hurt so bad just from standing all day, and the back of my knees, and my ankles, and the bottoms of my feet and lordy. This working thing is more taxing than a fifty pound backpack I had to pack around in school. Speaking of school I withdrew officially, and when I was withdrawing they failed to mention a small fee that I owed to them. So Im p****d because I need to earn double what I was hoping to pay back everything and still help Justin and me out by saving up money. I just hate schools, they screw you over every chance you get. So I don't think I will be attending one ever again at least that is my current frame of mind, we will see after I have had a chance to cool down from feeling screwed over by the last school I attended. My room is freezing cold and I had a NIGHTMARE last night which sucked, I woke up crying and called Justin to calm down because I couldn't figure out if I was awake or asleep. It was truly horrible and left me exausted this morning because I had a hard time falling asleep after that and speaking of sleep I really need to get some since I start work at 9:45 in the morning. Fun stuff, and of course I have to wake up early to talk to my baby a little bit or my day won't be nearly as sunshiny. Oh one more note of good news, I got several work outfits! YAY! now I don't have to wear the same crap everyday. Thank you mommy who I love so much for spending even more money on me. I promise I will pay you back every penny.

Baby, you are a turd, but I love you anyways. Next time you really don't like something I pick out, just say it right away because thinking you like it and then having you bash it before you remember why you kept your mouth shut in the first place about not liking it just makes it hurt more. So remember, communication. And even though I know you still dont like it im going to try and convince you of it anyways. Because I am an obstinat little creature and I know that you will love me anyways and find it more cute/funny than anything else that I think I could possibly sway you of anything. But thats enough, I need sleep and you are at work makings of the mulahs for the foods and stuff. My big strong manly man. I love you and really really wish I could just hold you right now, I was holding the computer while you were on webcam thats how strong my urge was. Yes, i am a sad panda but thats the way the cookie crumbles. Have a great day baby and I will talk to you when I wake up.

on a side side note, I think i have a cardboard cut on the tip of my right pointer finger. 0.0 ouch!

Day 103

Worked my first official shift today at my first official job. Im so proud of me. My back is killing me though i deffinatly need a pair of flats. Baby aren't you proud? And i have still gotten to talk to you lots. I love you love now come here and make my icy room tosty warm please and thank you. Take care and ill talk to you soon.

Day 102

All i want to say for today is i love you baby now and forever.

Day 101

Computers being lame and just erased my paragraph that i don't feel like retyping so baby i hope you get some good and needed rest and that i will be able to talk to you lots after work. Sweet dreams my love.

Day 100

Noo the triple digits allready. I guess its good cuss it means i will see him sooner but its just been so long since i last saw him. I miss my baby a whole bunches and i wants him here right meow to cuddle with after my very long stressful day.

Baby i love the fact u can always brighten up my mood. All i need to do is see that beautiful face or hear one of your outrageous jokes and im feeling much better. Im so happy that you are the person i get to spend the rest of my life with. Thank you for everything.

Day 99

So i got all my paperwork done today and got my register training out of the way, all thats left is orientation tomorrow and then I can start signing up for shifts. Im happy to finally have a real job that I can save up money. Im a little worried about working with the cash registers because i felt ok while going through everything but that was with a step by step guide in front of me, i dont know how I will do with actual customers.

Baby, i loves you! sorry we didn't get to talk a whole lot today but you have me for as long as you want tonight, I am all yours (your tonight that is) and we can chat or whatever. I love you so much and im so very proud of you. Sleep well and take care love.

Day 98

I got the job!!! Im excited to start my first real job and start making money to put in the savings for baby and me. I don't know if he is really happy about it because i wont be able to talk to him as much. Baby i promise i will talk to you as much as possible even if im up late or have to wake up early because talking to you, hearing your loving voice and seeing your smiling face is what will get me through the long full days. I love you baby! Sleep well and as always have an amazing day at work.

Day 97

Took tired long day tomorrow with my interview and had fun with facebook tonight.

Love's you baby don't be so grr at me next time i help with schoolwork. Have a great day love.

Day 96

Royally pissed off right now at dumb people who say dumb shit. Seriously, I know more about my life than you do so shut the fuck up. Ugh, my muscles hurt I have been shaking so bad I am that mad. Seriously some people just dont know when to take the hint that someone doesn't want to talk to them anymore. Are people seriously that stupid? Anyways, im so done for the night. Im going to try to go to bed now, maybe i will have dreams about how the stupid people get whats coming to them.

Babe, I love you and I thank you for always speaking to me with respect, even if you sometimes joke in a disrespectful way I know you love me and care about me. Take care of yourself and have pleasent dreams love I will talk to you in the morning.

Day 95

Baby! My arm hurts so bad. Not really hurts but is so uncomfortable. And you are such a nerd i love it! Im tired so im gonna curl up and dream that i am with you love.

Day 94

<p>Visiting at a friends house with her sweet little babies. Been a really long day, got my new bc installed... installed that's a weird way to think about it. But anyways its uber painful if i move the wrong way. So yeah not too much to say tonight. Got to talk to my baby lots.

I love you babe but sometimes you can be a big meanie. I love you lots though anyways. I cannot wait to talk to you on webcam tomorrow sleep well. Take care!

Day 93

Long boring day, feels like it just dragged on and on. I am so tired right now. But I cannot fall asleep for the life of me. Watching a really funny/sad anime right now that is really good and then I really want to watch full metal alchemist. But I dont want to watch it if i can't curl up next to Justin. Which I really want to do right now, I love him soooo much and i competely miss him right now totally.

Baby! I loves you, I loves you. I miss you, I miss you. I wants to curl up next to you and never leave your side. You are my whole world and I will never let you go. I hope you are sleeping well and taking care of yourself. Talk to you tomorrow loves.

Day 92

So its official that Facebook hates my computer, every other site workes just fine, but facebook is super slow and makes my computer freeze. Im watching a really sad anime, it has super funny moments but its allready made me cry once. Not much to report today, applied for three different jobs so we will see what happens, my fingers are crossed.

Baby! I loves you! I hope you had a good workout at Pt and have an amazing day at work because you are my amazing man who I love with all my heart and we can make it through anything. Kisses and Hugs baby, I will hold you tonight in my dreams and hope you feel my love while you work.

Day 91

Omg im so frustrated right now. Just applied for a job and it took forever and my computer was being difficult and didn't want to type anything! Blah! Im too worked up right now so this is all fr tonight.

Thank you my manly man for having a steady job to support your habits, a good work ethic, and amazing motivation. You are my inspiration as i blunder through application after application because the job i get will not only support me but will help us financially. I love you my manly man.

Day 90

It has been 90 long days since I was last in the presence of the man I love. It has only been an hour since I last saw his smiling face, but I miss him as much today as I do the day he left. I miss him with my whole heart and soul, so much that I don't think I could miss him more if I tired... but I know thats a lie, I could miss him a whole lot more, but I get to see him over skype and talk to him everyday so the missing isn't as great as if he was deployed because I get to see him and talk to him I fool myself into a sort of fantasy where he is here and then I dont have to miss him at all. My words are confusing even me at this point, so I do not blame you if you are lost. I love my man with my whole heart and soul and I thank the gods for the technology of today that enable me to see and speak to him. Being in love with an army man is not easy, but I love him, and he has a job to do so I am here to support him. He got all caught up in his schooling today, I am so proud of him. He is really taking the initiative and getting what he needs to done when he needs to. He had enough time after finishing his homework that we got to watch a couple of episodes of bleach together over skype before he went to pt. I know its silly but its the little moments like that that make me the happiest. I did have a mini panic attack when my speakers went haywire, but it all got fixed. I think I would have broken down if my skype broke. Not really hearing from him the three days when his computer broke was horrible and I dont want to do that again. The job hunt is not going so great, I have applied at a couple of different places but I havn't heard back from anyone yet. Its very discouraging. I wish I could just walk into a place, say I wanna work here, and then have an interview on the spot so the managers saw me for a person and not just a piece of paper which does in no way show my qualifications for a job. I am getting very mad, especially since almost everything is online these days, there is even less person to person contact. Anyways, thats my little frustrations for the day, minus the breakdown of sexual frustration in the shower this afternoon. lol.

Hey baby, I really wish you would read this blog sometimes but I know you would just be rolling your eyes and calling me hopeless, just another thing I love about you. I love seeing you wrapped up in my fleece blanket, I send all my positive thoughts your way and hope you can feel my warmth surrounding you. And im really happy that you had an amazing nights sleep last night, I happy! lol, I love you baby and I hope your day at work goes swimmingly. Take care of yourself love.

Day 89

Today was an interesting day to say the least. I slept in for a little bit, if you call lying in bed until 8 sleeping in... its better than the usual 7-7:30 I get up though and then I dont really sleep until then I wake up at 6-6:30 and roll over until the 7's time. But today I made it until 8, then I got up and messaged baby but he was out so I did some facebook browsing. Then a couple hours later he was online and I helped him do his Biology homework, it was so much fun! And um, then he had homework to do so I tried looking for a job, I found a perfect one but it was too far away from where I live so I was majorly dissapointed about that. And then me and baby were talking and we got into a mini tiff because my Virgo brain went into overdrive like it always does and I don't know how to turn it off. lol, but we are all good now, he is working on a test right now. So I have my mic on mute so my typing doesn't bother him (I love skype!). And of course he is blasting music which I totally dont get. But whatever, I have to have complete silence in order to study. This just goes to show when we live together we will be studying in seperate rooms unless were helping each other out or nothing will ever get accomplished. lol. Um, lets see what else, I all of a sudden got uber tired... Like yawns are coming on and my eyes got heavy. I talked to mommy lots to today, and its day 89 which means tomorrow is 90 then only 10 more days until we are in the tripple digits... thats scary but at least time has been passing semi quickly.

I have had alot of people viewing my blog lately, thank you all of you. I am guessing half of the views are for the Stone sour song lyrics I posted a while back and thats cool, but if you are reading it for more than just that one go ahead and follow and leave a comment if you like. =)

Baby! Im super sorry about earlier with the little tiff and all, you are right again (as much as I hate to admit it) I am too paranoid for my own good. But at least we can laugh about it right? Im working on making my head do what I want it to and not what it wants to do, but I havn't found the perfect way to yet. Im thinking im going to have to get out the diary again and burn it when its full. Anywho, im so happy your getting your homework done babes, take care of yous you know I love you always and forever. I can't wait to see you in person again and kiss you and hold you and run away from you when you try to do something devilish. lol. Its rare that im on webcam with you as I write this so im just going to end with a good night and sweet dreams my love.

Day 88

Its been a really rough day and all I have to say is I better get some damn birth control in my system fast or im going to go bitch crazy on someone. I hate my rollercoaster emotions. TOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!! My head has way to much running though it and im just so drained.

I love you baby, glad you had fun hanging out with the guys. I hope your schoolwork goes well and you get everything taken care of. I will chat at ya tomorrow love.

Day 87

So I felt so ucky yesterday but today I am feeling much much better. I have no idea what I caught but im so happy it only lasted a little over a day. My stomach is still a little sore but I think thats from throwing up and Im finally getting tired again after sleeping for probably 18 hours yesterday. I got my facebook albums all caught up and watched this hilarious anime Justin told me about, I wish I would have listened to him sooner, despite the obnoxiously large breatsted and often bare anime chicks, it was just super funny. And I got all my finals done today, Im so glad my teachers were so understanding and let me turn everything in a day late. So tomorrow I start the official process of finding a job. I have a game plan allready, I am going to apply to at least five places online per day and im going to print out ten resumes that I want passed out after a weeks time. I think that should help alot with the whole finding a job process, and now that everything is apply online anyways, im really hoping i can find one or two places that will hire me. Since I don't have any more schooling I can put my full effort into it and do 100 percent on the job. Oh, and baby got his sheets today and said he really liked them so that makes me uber happy! I was so worried he wasn't going to like them because they are a weird type of fabric. But I did good =)

Baby! You are so adorable, wrapped up in a blanket and making funny faces at me. I know the day started off icky, but everything turned out really good in the end. Im so tired now I wish you were here so I could pass out next to your warmth and in your loving arms. Im so glad we get to talk as much as we do, and I only wish I could do more for you. Dont worry, i will find a good job and save us up alot of money for the wedding and such. Baby, you are my whole world, now and forever you are mine and I am yours.

Day 86

Im sick so im keeping this short. Missed my finals today and feel like crap. Thank you baby for talking to me as long as you did, it really helped make me feel a little better. I loves you baby, have a good day at work and i will talk to u tomorrow l.

Day 85

So its been a long day, I found out three of the people I care very much about are having tests done on them, one is having her heart tested and that scares the shit out of me. I hope that she is ok. Tomorrow is my last day of school and then I have to find a job and I just have to say im so glad to be done with finals. Anyways, I dont really feel like posting much tonight, Im tired and im just going to head to bed. Bad news takes alot out of you.

Baby, thank you for being my strong shoulder to lay my head against, I don't know what I would do if I didn't have you in my life. Just being there to listen is such a comfort to me. Thank you for everything. My love for you grows deeper and stronger everyday and that will never change. I am so in love with you. Take care of yourself love and have a great day.

Day 84 Happy Halloween!

That's right its all hallows eve and i only passed out candy this year. Sadly there was no dressing up. I will make up for that next year though. And i'll make justin dress up with me. Lol. Baby!  Its halloween and i wish u could be here to hold me while i freaked myself out with scary movies. Your good at that. Have a great day at work and goodluck to you on your schoolwork. Love ya babe!

Day 83

Another full day of schoolwork and im still not done. Glarb! My body is killing me and i wanna set everything i did on fire. Anyways im gonna do a little more than watch some anime. Babe u are amazing! Stay golden i love you. Thank you for making my schoolwork less tedious. Have a great day at work!

Day 82

Been doing homework all day and of course i have another headache. Homework is nowhere near done of course and tomorrow is sunday and the start of my last week. Fml! Anyways today was babies birthday and he turned 23 yay!!! Wish i could have been there to celebrate with you. I loves you babe, thank you for being my study buddy. Get some good rest now and we will study more when you wake up.

Day 81

Really bad headache. Babies birthday in germany so happy birthday baby. I love you to death! You are the very best and i hope to be in person for your next one. You have a gift in the mail i hope you like it. Love you baby!

Day 80... a little late

OMG! For the first time I forgot to post a day 80. I was so caught up in my homework and webcamming with my baby that it didn't even cross my mind to write this. So Im writing day 80 on the same day that I will be writing 81. I feel really bad about forgetting. I got the pictures and everything up so how on earth could I forget about this post!

Well, time has been passing ever so slowly, My finals are all due next week and then im done with school and its off to find a job and save up lots of mulah. I hope I will be able to because the way its looking right now money is going to be really tight. Plus I don't want Justin saving up everything by himself. I spent literally all day yesterday working on homework and today is just going to be a repeat of that. I am so over homework and I really need a change so maybe its a good thing I will be taking a little break from school. Now the only dilema is where am i going to find a job? Where I live there really isn't all that many people hiring and so many people are looking for jobs that people like me, with no experience, have a really hard time finding one. Plus for some reason I always fail on the personality tests. Everyone says to lie but honesty counts in my opinion so every question I am going to answer honestly. Oh well though, I will get a job eventually. Im hoping that I will actually get two or three jobs because thats how much I really need the money. School sucks of course so im super happy its almost done. Well I better get up and start my day, i really hope my babes gets online soon so I can chat him up for a little bit.

Hey baby! So sorry i forgot about day 80, and tomorrow is your birthday! I hope you go out and have lots of fun with your guy friends, sorry I can't be there in person but you know I am always with you in spirit. You are the love of my life and my best friend and I look foreward to everyday that we share together even when we are miles and miles apart. I love you baby.

Day 79

Watching a new anime my babe said was really good. So far i can see why he suggested it. Most of the voices are annoying but im working on moving past that. Its just a really weird anime. Im watching Shuffle. Weird, thats all I have to say. Baby got his computer working again so hopefully we will webcam soon, but he and I both have alot of schoolwork to do so we wont get to webcam nearly as much. My term ends on wednesday of next week and then I need to find a job, or two, or three, or four. Lol, definatly need to make some money. But everything will workout like its suppose to.

I loves my baby! You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. You make me so incredibly happy! I look foreward to spending the rest of my life with my knight in shining armor. You rock! And i definatly look foreward to many anime marathons cuddled up by your side. Hope your schooling is going well. Loves loves, nighty nighty I will cuddle you in my dreams!

Day 78

I am super super tired right now. Going to give my baby the first wakeup call in a long while here in a couple of minutes. After I talk to him and get my powerpoint done for class, I am going to bed. And i just had an uber scary thought that something is due tomorrow that I dont have done so im cutting this short.

I love you baby and I will get to hear that sweet voice of yours very shortly. I hope you slept well and I loves you!

Day 77

Today I was so tired it took me a whole extra five minutes to roll out of bed, then I had to pack up my backpack and leave for school. I was stuck in an hour and a half of traffic making me a half hour late for my first class where I sat in a broken wodden stool. Then durring my second class I had to download open office three times because it kept exiting before it finished. Then I missed a call from Justin at lunch but thankfully I was able to figure out how to call him back and I talked to him for a couple of minutes before he went to sleep. Hearing his voice made me cry because I miss him so much and I just wanted to lay next to him and rub his back until he fell asleep. But after the very short (unfortunatly) call I had to go back to class and finish out lunch. I tried to nap but couldn't on the uncomfortable table. Then I finished my schoolwork early so I was able to leave early and beat the really bad traffic.

Baby, I love you so much but it was so good to hear your voice. I woves you with my whole heart and want to give you lots of squeezes and rub your back everynight for you until you fall asleep. You are an amazing man and I am so lucky to have you in my life. Take care of yourself babe and I hope that you figure out everything you need to. I will talk to you again as soon as possible. Loves you! Loves you! Loves you!

Day 76

Baby's computer broke so I probably wont talk to him for a while. Mega uber sadness there, facebook will be our means of communication. But I did pack up his birthday box and im sending it out tomorrow. I hope he likes it. I really miss him, and I wish i could spend his birthday with him. Hopefully the webcam will be up and running by then so I can wish him a Happy Birthday in Person... well, sorta in person. Thank goodness for technology, its a lifesaver right now. Lets me see my baby, and communicate with him when he is halfway around the world.

I love you baby, so much. I hope you get your computer fixed soon, not only so I can talk to you, but so you can do your homework and watch your anime. It will all work out and dont worry about any of it. You are amazing!! and I love you so so much. I wanna cuddle up to you and sleep in your heat. I dreamed of watching anime with you all cuddled up last night, it was a very good, amazing, wonderful dream. I hope to have another one just like it tonight. I will be holding you in my heart every second of every day. Sweet dreams to you baby, and I hope your workday goes amazingly. Talk to you as soon as I can.

Day 75

Got some drafting homework done, talked to my baby, printed out some pics and spent quality time with my momma. Overall it was a very good day that went by very slowly. But that's ok for today, made me feel like i had extra time with mommy. Got lots of cuddles with my kitty and found a new toothpaste i really like. So yeah everything is positive. I go back to my aunts tomorrow and then start my daily routine anew.

I love you Justin, you are the light in my life and i never will let you go withought a fight. My sexy god of fire. Sleep tight love, i hold you in my arms and heart as i sleep and as each day passes. You are always with me and one day we will be together in person again. Until know you are always on my mind and in my heart. Take care of yourself dear heart, and i will see you when i awake.

Day 74

Best day i've had in a while. I love being home and seeing my mom again. I missed her so much. Will be sad to have to go back to school on monday and not see her again for a long time.

Loved talking to my baby today. So glad we have your rings mostly figured out. And don't worry we will get gamestop taken care of. I loves you baby with all my heart. Im gonna meet you in my dreams and hold you tight until tomorrow when i get to hear that sweet voice once again.

Day 73

Today was my two year anniversary with the love of my life. I am so glad we have made it so long and we have truely come so far. We have gone through so much and overcame even more. i know we can make it through anything. I love you baby with all of my heart and soul and today was just another milestone we hit. You are everything to me and just so wonderful. I love you with all my heart. Sleep well and take care of yourself baby and tomorrow we start year three!

Day 72

So yeah, today was really long and im really tired and just want to go to sleep. Actually what I really want to do is curly up next to my baby have fall asleep on him while having an anime fest. Just feeling him, his skin against mine, and having him with me would be so amazing right now you have no idea. Baby I love you with all my heart and Im so glad I have you in my life. Take care of you and be safe my love, I will hold you in my dreamz tonight, and I hope you feel my love as you work.

Day 71

Spent several hours doing drafting today and my back is killing me. Its not done and the final is due tomorrow so im not really happy about that right now. I really can't concentrate much so tonights post is short.

I love you baby! you are amazing and you need to decide how you like your coffee so i can learn and make it for you perfect every single morning just the way you like it. You are so amazing, and so funny and sweet and just so everything. I cannot wait until we are married and i get to do little things for you like making coffee and folding laundry and just everything! I love you so much, and i hope your day at work goes swimmingly and I will talk to you when you get off.

Day 70

Its been a long day what with school and all and of course not getting to sleep until like midnight last night. And i have a ton of homework I should be doing but instead im just gong to go to sleep because im really tired and I will just cram all day tomorrow. Yeah, that sounds like a plan that wont backfire considering I will probably spend like six hours talking to the love of my life before I even get started on the drafting project and then i need to touch up the powerpoint. See, im a smart cookie because I know that i am doing something that is bad for me and I am doing it willingly because the alternative is just so much better. I will get me work done no matter what, And im sure I will get an ok grade on it too. The main reason i dont want to do drafting is because my back is killing me and I really don't want to bend over anything else right now after a whole day of drafting at school. Yeah, i think i can give myself a break. So im headed to bed.

Baby, you know I love you with my whole heart, and I will always do my best not to hurt you or cause you pain, but i will slip up and make mistakes, I will be insensitve and sometimes even cruel as you too can be, but because we love each other we step over the obstacle, forgive and forget because what we have is more important than the insignificant little things that happen. You are amazing, and have really shown me how much you care for me over the past couple of months and every little thing you do makes me fall even more in love with you even if it initially hurts, it forces me to face my own imperfections, learn form my mistakes and grow. Thank you for being the wonderful constant in my life who is always there for me no matter what and who knows when to do what even when I dont.You are amazing, and I am never letting go of you without a fight.

Day 69

Hate today, it was great until i opened my big fat mouth and threw something completely out of proportion. Thank goodness my baby knows how easily my mind carries away when im emotional and he considers the conversation over and done with. I dont but thats because my mind goes craszy psycotic and likes driving me mad. Oh well.

I love you baby, forgive me my errors I am only human and bound to make mistakes. Tonight was one that should not have happened but I am getting better at catching myself. I love you baby with all of my heart and soul and I am never letting you go. You are stuck with me. P.S. Almost 2 years <3

Day 68

Today was a goid day. Woke up and talked to my baby. Got some banking stuff figured out. Went to a bookstore and ate at a greasy spoon burger joint called XXX but it was very family friendly. The rootbeer there was so delicious and the burgers were ok. Got home and watched an episode of naruto with baby before he went to bed and then watched fast five, which was absolutly amazing! After that i did some drafting homework until just a couple minutes ago and now imma go to sleep.

Baby i hope you sleep well and have an amazing day. You are the light of my life and I will never ever stop loving. Thank you baby so much for all the smiles. I can't wait to see your smiling face in the morning. I love you with all my heart. Sleep well my love.

Day 67

Been a long day, worked on my drafting final and it was mostly done now, i got some more to do tomorrow but thats totally normal. Watched a couple of shows on netflix and my baby spoiled me with an episode of pokemon. Yup, good day. Nothing else to really write because i didn't do anything else. So yeah, thats all for now. Write more tomorrow.

Day 66

Much better day today. Didn't get any of the homework done i wanted to so im bummed about that but oh well that just means more to do tomorrow.  Im tired and going to head to bed after i get some orange juice. I loves my baby with all my heart! Talk to you again tomorrow baby sleep well and have a great day! Kisses!!!!

Day 65

I can't do this right now, i feel too week and worn out. Of course I will do it, and I will make it through and i will have my breakdown and then build myself back up, its just so hard right now. Ive been crying non-stop for the past half hour. I am so tired of this distance, i want it to go away right now and I want to have my love in my arms where i can feel him and just hold him! God Damnit, I hate nights like these, nights where i just feel worthless and like there is nothing i can do right in the whole entire world and i am just a pain in everyones neck and i should just dissapear. I dont want to be here right now! I want to be with him, where i dont feel so alone all the time, where i can laugh with him and watch him fall asleep, rub his back and sing a soft tune until he was in dreamy bye land. I want to wake up and have him kiss me good morning, and I dont want to be alone! But i have to be patient and I have to wait just a little bit longer and then all the waiting will have been completely worth it. Right now i just need to have a day where I feel like crap because there is nothing i can do and I am in control of nothing. I hate school, I can't find a job, and im so broke i can't even buy my love a birthday present to make up for the fact that I wont be there! I wont be there when he turns 23, and i wont be there for our two year anniversary and I wont be there for christmas or new years. I will be here and all i can do is smile when we webcam even though it kills me to see him and not be able to touch him. I have to suck it up and deal because this is what we have to deal with right now. I love you baby with all of my heart and I can't wait until I can hold you in my arms once again. I know there will always be nights like these when we are apart, and i promise i can do this. I can stay strong. Just let me break once in a while and build myself back up. We can do this together. I love you so very much. Have an amazing day and I really hope to talk to you in the morning when im not so emotional.

Day 64

Nothing new except more cold sores. Tired and in bed for the night with nothing to say. Will write tomorrow. Love you baby. Have a great day at work. I.will talk to you tomorrow.

Day 63

Stayed home from school. Homework half completed will finish the rest tomorrow. Had a seven hour long convo with my baby, yeah it was a good day minus the coldsores and sick part. Im tired though so im going to bed. I love you baby, have an amazing day and get yourself some good rest. Take care and i will talk to you in the morning.

Day 62

Been a long day, im definatly coming down with something. Going to stay home from school tomorrow because I wanna kick it in the but before it even has a chance to start, especially with finals coming up so soon. I do have to say I had a wondfully long conversation with the love of my life today. It was epically awsome and we watched some bleach and naruto together. Made me uber happy. I think he was called in for work or something though because he hasn't messaged me in a while. But oh well, thats what happens when your a busy working man. I love him so very much and I am so happy to have him in my life as well as his love. Its just been an uber good day, and I got my car back on top of it! now if i only wasn't sick. I loves you baby and I hope you have a really great day today. Take care of yourself, I love you! and I will talk to you when you get a chance.

Day 61

Not much to report today, woke up with a cold sore and im pissed about that. Got some homework done and talked to my baby. A very productive and happy day overall. Thats all im gonna really say, I have a pain in my neck that is going to turn into a migrain if i dont lay down soon, so baby! I love you! Im so proud of you! And I really hope im able to talk to you tomorrow love. Have an amazing day at work and I shall see you when i see you. Loves you to the moon and back!

Day 60

Its been 60 days, and I have lost count of the weeks, months, other vairous ways to count time, but I know that it has been 60 days and babe we are as strong as ever. I love that I get to see your amazingly handsom, sweet face everyday and sometimes Im lucky enough to wake up to you and fall asleep to you. I know you are very busy and have alot going on but I really appreciate the fact that you take the time out to give me some special time. It makes me feel like a trillion bucks. And your goal for tomorrow is to get me to episode 200 of Bleach, so I should probably really get some shut eye so that I dont fall asleep while I watch it. lol.  I love you baby, and I hope you have a non-stressful day and get everything done you need to and that you get to chill out and have some much deserved you time. You are a truly amazing man and I am so thankful to have your love and you in my life. So, baby, have a great day, maybe get a nap in there, and I will see you in the morning love. Time to hold you in my dreams!

Day 59

This is my 101st post on this blog. Wow how time flys and over half of those were just my everyday count up posts. Its been 59 days since I last saw my love but really we are closer than ever. Thank god for technology! I get to see his handsom face everysingle day and it makes me truly happy to not only see his face but to also hear his voice!

I have not posted pics because half of them have been of friends and such that I do not have permission to post on here. I don't know if im going to keep up with the photos on the blog because I have them all on facebook in a seperate album. Anyways, so yeah, no more pics for a while.

I love you baby! You are the most amazing, unique, wonderful man in the entire world and everyday you make me proud to call you mine. I am so incredibly proud of all the progress you are making in your everday life, even the small things like going to the gym or getting your homework done before video games. You are mine, always and forever. My heart and joy, my one and only. My soul is yours love, so sleep in peace knowing I am here and will never leave.

Day 58

Baby! I love you soooooo much! And I cannot believe that you are finally hooked on Naruto. Payback for getting me hooked on bleach. This is what I posted on my facebook today:

 

I am so happy with the way my life is right now. Yes, i hate school, and yes my ♥ is far too far away. But Im going for a bachelors in a program that really excites me, and baby and I wont be seperated forever. The point is im working towards a better future not only for me but for our future together. We make plans together and we are both working towards a brighter and better tomorrow. Baby, its... hard right now being so far away, but we have made it through much worse. We have each other and we have love, compassion, and respect for one another. All of these are important and all show just how much we are determined to make this work. Justin, I ♥ you with all my heart and that will never change.

This is truly how I am feeling right now. And  baby I am so, so proud of you for everything you have acomplished and that you are working towards. You truly make me the happiest woman on the planet earth and I cannot help but being all cheasy and saying mushy gushy stuff. I love you and I am so happy we are growing together and everyday falling more in love and bonding as a couple. The next few years are going to be really tough, with alot of changes and difficulties heading our way but I truly belive that we will make it through and that every trial will bring us closer and closer together. You are my one, my only, my forever.

Day 57

Currently webcamming with my baby who is very sleepy. He is so adorable! My back is killing me so im heating it, i was bent over for my drafting assignment measuring and drawing the damn little tiny lines. But i was very productive today which was a good thing.

I loves you baby with all of my heart and you are so adorable and amazing and I really cannot image you not being in my life. Thank you for all the laughs and all the love. Every day is special and I will hold every moment we are together in my heart. Love you! Have a great day!

Day 56

Not much to say today, Had an awsome chat with my baby love and caught up with my bestest firend via webcam. Today was a good day all things considered, even school wasn't horribly bad. The teacher who I dont like his teaching I asked how my grade was and he said an A ish so im happy enough. Found a way to put sticky notes on my desktop so I have alot of sticky notes reminding me to do things now.

I loves you baby with all my heart and what you told me today really lifted me up inside and made me feel like a trillion bucks! You have no idea how even the simplest little statement can lift me up and make me float on clouds. You are all I will ever want, and all I need. You have me heart and soul forever and a day. All of eternity. I am never going to stop loving you, and I will always be here for you no matter what. When the road gets rough and rocky we just have to cling a little tighter to make it through again to the good times. Sleep tight and have an amazing day my knight in shining armor. I will meet you in my dreams and talk to you whenever possible. <3

Day 55

Its been several days since I did photos again. Sorry, Ive been keeping up on facebook. Not much going on. I got to see my uncle from Hawaii yesterday and meet his girlfriend and I spent the day with my mommy. Other than that I have just been watching bleach with justin everyday. We have had two serious converstations and one really good long one today after bleach. I also got a couple of bridal planning books and stuff so im a verry happy girl. Got my powerpoint done today, still need to do the vocabulary somehow, but dont want to. I have so many to catch up on, and I have quite a bit of drafting to catch up on also. I really hate schoolwork. And I talked to someone at the school and they really weren't all that helpfull. I also have to figure out how to do the stupid online math course. UGH! You would think for a private school they would have their stuff put together much better. But no!

Anyways, pics are below.

My pics, now im gonna watch bleach with my baby this morning. I <3 you babe! you rock and im so glad you woke up in a great mood. Love you have a great day!

Day 54

New army wives. Visited with mommy and uncle today as well as bleach marathon and figuring out plans. Yup today was a good day. Really tired now.

Love you babe and so happy we figured things out again. Lol. You make me so happy. Have an amazing day love.

Day 53

Been a long day and I have a killer crink in my neck. Got a bridal magazine. Some of the dresses are god awful. Good color ideas and stuff. Also drinking some Dr. Pepper. There are ucky zits all over my face that i wanna make them go away! but the more product I use the worse they seem to get.

I really dont feel like writing right now. Me and mom just got into a little tiff over some really stupid stuff and now im in a crappy mood. I will write again tomorow as well as post pics.

Love you baby, sleep well and have a great day. I will talk to you later. Take care of yourelf.

Day 52

Feeling uber nautilus outta the blue. Only thing not making my stomach turn is water and im cramping. Oh the joy of a menstral cycle.

I love you babe and i always feel very accomplished when i make u laugh like i did today. You bring me so much joy and happiness im glad i bring you some too. Stay safe love.

Day 51

Its been 51 days and can I just say they are dragging on super slowly???? Yesterday feels like a week ago. School is lame as ever, seriously people just dont go, its not worth the stress. The club meeting was ok but the chairs at that school kill my back. they should seriously pay for a chiropracter to see me once a week if they are going to have me sit in wooden stools and hunched over all the time.

Um, not much else to report. Im super tired and have had realy odd dreams which remind me of other odd dreams and its just... yeah.

I gots me some sleepy time relaxation tea and it works so this post is gonna be short cuss ive allready started drinking it and have to get up early to watch Bleach with my baby.

I loves you baby! you make me the happiest girl on the planet earth, even when you are being an insensitive prick. Its ok, I know I can be an emotional bitch so its all even in the end. Even playing field for both of us. Lol, but seriously I do love you and I cannot wait for our Bleach and Face time in the morning. Have an awsome day at work and I will meet you in my dreamz!!!!

Day 50

Today I watched Bleach with my love in the morning, did some homework and the call cut out unexpectedly and he didn't return online. Im not too worried, it was getting late so he probably tried to fix it then went to bed. But yeah, It was a very good morning. I spent the day drawing and I hated it, but I got his bedding sent out so im happy about that. Um, not much else to say. So pics!

I miss you baby, and I hope your computer didn't decide to die on you and that I will talk to you again sometime soon. You are amazing and spoil me and make me uber happy. I seriously cannot imagine what my life would be like without you. You Rock! So stay safe and be healthy, and take care of yourself and know that I love you with all of my heart and soul and cannot wait to see that smiling face of yours once more and hold you in my arms, having you back safe where everything feels right. Have an amazing day at work and I will talk to you soon love.

Day 49

Another lazy night. Lying in bed super tired and just read a chapter in my wedding planning book. Can't wait to watch more bleach with babe tomorrow. Love's you baby. You are my bright shining star and i love you every moment i breath and longer. Have a great day and take care of you.

Day 48

There is no better way to spend the day than curled up in his arms watching and arguing about anime. Unfortunatly I will have to take the second best way to spend the day and thats doing the same thing over webcam. Lol. That is how I spent my day today, procrastinating on homework and chillin in bed, chatting with my baby about how much better some voices were in the japanese version compared to the english version. And he met he goal about getting me past episode 110 which I have to say is an amazing feat. So the pic for today is dedicated soly to how happy he made me by doing something so simple.

For my best friend and love of my life, your favorite character in Bleach.
P.S. I still think he sounds better in the Japanese Version. =P

I love you baby with my whole heart and soul. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me and yu are my very best friend. I am so blessed to be loved by you and to have so many things in common that we can spend an entire day in complete bliss just chatting about an anime. You are my shining star and I cannot wait to spend each day of the rest of my life with you. Take care of yourself and enjoy your work love.

Day 47

So i just got done with an hour long skype call to Justin. It was one of those, we are on the camera but we really arent talking because he is preoccupied with his music device but thats ok with me so long as i get to see him, video calls. lol. We talked all day today though im even though I went back home to see my mom. It was so good to see her because i miss her tons and she is one of my best friends. I also got to see my little fur baby leo and he was so sweet! When i first got there he acted mad at me and wouldn't let me touch him, probably because i smelt funny, but then i went in to talk to my sister and when i closed her door leo was at my heels and then we walked over to my bedroom door and looked at me so i opened it and he jumped up on the bed and we cuddled just like old times. He got me all hairy but was purring and giving me lots of love and kisses. I dont care what people say, animals are smart and have feelings too. I hurt his though, he was on the bed when i was leaving so i petted him and gave him kisses and tried not to cry then when i was in the car he was sitting in the front window so i said bye i love you and waved at him and he meowed at me. Now most people would say that is normal, cats meow, but not leo. He NEVER meows. I think durring the entire four years ive had him he has meowed maybe three times. So he was saying goodbye and telling me not to leave and it almost broke my heart. I miss my kitty so much. Its bad enough being away from the love of my life, and my mom, but to be away from my baby kitty too is almost too much.

I have been making alot of initial wedding plans, its three years away but i figure the sooner i get stuff figured out the more money i can save in the long run. So yeah, i havn't done any homework yet, yes i am a procrastinator, but i have a ton to do tomorrow. Joy, im almost hoping i will catch whatever my sister has so i dont have to go in on monday. Im also really hoping that I will actually be able to sleep tonight. The last few nights i have not slept at all.

Anyways, pics for the past couple of days... yes... not sure where i left off so forgive me if there are doubles.

My drawing for art class, suppose to be trees and fog but looks like an ocean.



My aunts cat Gracie, she sat on my lap and shoulder and she doesn't do that for just anyone. I call her mouse.



Leo as a baby kitten, wasn't he adorable? And he had a purr loud as a motorboat.



My dream wedding dress, and one that I will never have.



Cool wine glasses that intertwine and make a heart. I just think they look cool.



And those are the pics you may or may not have missed the past couple of days. Today I also wanna say I bought myself a planner. Im so happy to be able to start planning.

I loves you baby with all of my heart even when you are in a non talking mood. lol, you are my best friend and im so lucky to have found you and have so much love with you. You are my world and light, and you keep me stong during the long lonley nights. You are everything I ever want and I just have to say that you will always be loved. Have an amazing day love, and I will talk to you again soon.

Day 46

Dont feel much like talking today, got lots of wedding plans figured out so im happy. I really dont want to post pics either. Im just writing tonight because i have to write everyday. It was a good day today.

I love you baby with all my heart and im so happy that we got plans figured out today. You are amazing and I love you with all my heart. You are amazing, sweet dreams love.

Day 45

I feel like crap, and I really dont want to do this tonight. I am the worst person in the history of the universe because I sent justin off to work with the image of me crying over something that shouldn't have been worth a second thought in my head. I am so stupid and if i keep this up I will cause us problems and I hate that I do this. I really feel like shit. No pics tonight, I will post 3 tomorrw.

Im so sorry baby, i dont know what I can do to make this better but just drop it like i should have done in the first place. Please try not to be angry with me. I miss you. This distance is really hard, and im doing my best but im just so tired of being away from you. I know we will make everything work out and I will talk to you in the morning when im less emotional. Please forgive me.

Day 44

Not going to say much. On my phone and super tired. I got my drafting bird and have lots of homework this weekend. Also gonna find a job.

Love u babe have a great day at work and ill hold u tonight in my dreams. Stay safe.

Day 43

Ok, so I havn't done a long post in a really long time and again I dont really feel like it tonight but I am going to try anyways. So today I woke up super groggy because I took some melatonin last night to help me sleep and boy did it knock me out! I was still dozing in and out of conciousness at ten and felt super drained. This sucked because I was also trying to message my baby on skype. But hey, I got some good sleep which I really needed so its not all that bad.

I think my school screwed me over because for my large interior design kit there was not an inventory of what it came with and I found out on monday that it was apparently suppose to come with a small size drafting table sort of thing which i did not get and is kinda a necisity for my program of study. So I get to go in tomorrow and demand one or a refund of all the money i spent. Im taking in my reciept and the inventory I made of the kit. Hopefully they just give me one without complaint otherwise I will be super pissed.

I am determined to find a job, at lunch tomorrow Im also going in and asking them to help me write a resume for handing into different places hiring. Im hoping to get at least two jobs so I can start saving up money and then Justin won't have to worry so much because I will also be contributing to the relationship funds and maybe be able to pay for half of the wedding which would really help out a lot. Plus the more I can save up, the less he has to stress out about his finances until I can get there and help him straighten them out together. Don't get me wrong he can totally do it on his own, I just think its something we can also do together that will help a lot later on down the road. Im excited for the wedding even though I shouln't have let myself get very excited.

Um, other than that im not doing too great on doing the homework on time, but then again my teachers are super slack about due dates so its not that big of a deal. I have no idea what I am going to do for my assignment due monday in art. I have to do 3 different point perspective drawings of a cityscape and im really struggling with it. I seriously have no idea what im going to do and it kinda pisses me off im struggling so much. And my reading/vocabulary has not been getting done in my other class because i feel so drained and the book puts me to sleep. But I have gotten my powerpoint and first quiz done. Drafting is still going really well and Im done with my assignments on time and was even able to do some extra credit.

I opened a bank account to day just to discover that my school comes with one. Weird and crazy I know. Im not too thrilled about it because now I have three accounts and that means three cards. And thats all im saying on the banking front because its probably not the safest thing to talk about online. Justin asked that I send him some sheets so I get to figure out how to fit sheets and comforters into the flat rate boxes fun! its going to be about 30 in shipping alone but im looking for some none pricy cotton bedding for him that I hope to send out next week. And like I allready said im going to do some serious job hunting. I should probably find my key card for school so that I can actually get around tomorrow. Um um um, Im trying to think of things to add to Justin's care package im going to be sending with the sheets. Maybe a pentagram necklace to match mine only longer? that would be a total of 50 bucks to purchase, and who knows when I would get them by. Im going to draw him a cupcake and put it in for his birthday since he wont let me send him any sweets and other than that I really have no idea what to add. I really want to put something in that smells like me, but I have no clue what, I was thinking maybe sleep with a flannel blanket a couple of nights and send it to him. He really doesn't need a whole lot so I have no clue! Plus I cannot figure out what to get him for his birthday because he wont tell me anything. Sadness!

Have I written enough yet to make up for the days I didn't write? Nope not at all, but im still done for today, no more writing im exausted and have no idea what to add to this right now besides rants and rambles. My pic is below, and yes I know im a crappy artist.

I loves you baby with all of my heart and soul, you are my sun and moon and my whole world and you make me fall in love with you even more each and every day. You are amazing. Dont change, I know thats enevitable but never change who you are as a person, who you are at your core. Have an amazing day and I will talk to you later babe.