Day 205

So I did something a little bit crazy today, I made several new blogs... four in total. I am not really sure why I did this, I don't like posting on this one more than once a day because then it would mess up my count and I guess sometimes I just want to write about stuff not for the daily post so I made a blog for each of my interests. There were several other ones I wanted to make too but I was able to reign myself in thankfully. So now I have to try to keep up with six different blogs... good lordie what did I get myself into? lol.

I have been feeling very nauseous and super tired all day. Guess I really have come down with the flue. Nothing tastes right which I think really sucks. The blog has a new layout though, what do you all think? Like? Dislike? All my blogs match each other now. Makes me happy. I think it's the Virgo in me, I have to have it all organized and done a certain way, which is why I have so many different blogs so I can keep all the categories separated. Just a random thought I had on my mind, it seems like no matter where I go I can't get away from the military. Its in songs and adds and television shows and some days I just want to forget all about it. The only thing I want to associate myself with is to see my love, try to forget the situation we are in for just a brief period of time and pretend that I will see him again tomorrow. Of course I know this is an impossibility but sometimes I just feel so depressed.

Anyways love, no matter how depressed or lonely I am I know that I always have you and I love you very much forever and ever. I can't wait to see you and hear your voice, but most of all I can't wait to hold you and feel your warmth. You are my everything and when we are apart my world is incomplete. I miss you baby. I love you. Stay safe and have a good day.

Day 204

I feel sick, and I just want to be held. Why is this distance so hard?

I miss you baby, so very much. Sending my love your way, always and forever.

Day 203

Skyping with my love, gotta love technology.

Love you baby, hugs and kisses.

Day 202

So I actually did stuff today. Lets see, it started out with waking up and messaging my baby, and then my mother-in-law messaged me and we finally got the corset business figured out so that is ordered and on the way (my first real corset, can't wait!) and then I Skyped with my love for several hours and a friend messaged me asking me to go shopping with her and I love shopping so I said yes. She picked me up and we went to one mall then we were going to go to another but we ended up driving around this beautiful little town and looking at all the gorgeous houses. Needless to say I had an amazing day. When I got home I watched a little bit of Celtic Thunder with my mommy and now I am all snuggled up in bed ready for sleep.

Baby, I hope you got plenty of sleep and are well rested for the busy day ahead of you. I love you tons and I hope to talk to you at some point today but If I can't I do understand. I miss you tons, will be dreaming of your warm loving arms tonight. XOXO

Day 201

What can I say? I just really miss my baby. I have had several break down days and I am ready for them to go away now.

Baby, lets talk about the happy times in the past and the happy times ahead. I love you forever and always.

Day 200

It has been two hundred days since he left. I miss him so much, i just really want to give him a great big hug.

I love you baby, can't wait to see you in the morning. I miss you.

Day 199

Tonight was hard. Watching him get ready for work was painful, I wanted to hold him tight and see him off, but all I had was his image on my computer screen. It set me off, tears falling every which way, everything I have been holding in came flooding out, painfully. I cried to my mom like a child, as she held me and helped me as best as she could. I just want to be with my husband. That's all. Even if I just had one day to hold him, that would help me make it through the next couple of months without him. I miss him so much.

My dear love, I miss you so much, I wish so much I could wake up to you each and every morning, roll over and kiss your lips and see you off to work. I wish I could be there when you got home, to cuddle up to you while you played your xbox. I just want to feel your warmth. I just want to be in your presence. I just want to be with you. I love you so much.

Day 198

I got a ton done today, but now i feel really sick because i ate too much at dinner. Ugh i wanna throw it all up. I know that is horribly nasty but its how i feel.

Baby please get on soon so i can talk to you and then pass out while i writhe in pain. I love you uber muchness. Hugs and Kisses.

Day 197

Baby was so cute today, he was so tired from this weekend that he was sitting in his chair and we were talking and he was like "I'm just gonna go to bed." and then he literally fell asleep in his chair. Like before I could even snap my fingers he was out of it. It was so cute!!!!!! And he would be so mad if he saw this, but i'm pretty sure he doesn't read my blog so im probably safe.

Baby I miss you like crazy. Moments like today make me so thankful for the technology we have, but it hurts to see your amazing face, hear your sweet voice, and not be able to hold you. I would take that pain over the other any day though. The alternative is not seeing or hearing from you at all, and we have done that and it was ten times worse. I love you so much, have an amazing day. Hugs and Kisses from me to you.

Day 196

Ah, it doesn't get much better than sitting in my comfy bed and watching my baby play his video games, of course it would be ten times better if he was actually here, but all things considered this is the best it gets over webcam and distance.

Aw, baby, how I miss you. I love listening to you play video games because you get so intense and you are uber funny! I can't wait for the talky time that is sure to come later. I love you so so much. Have a great, amazing day at work!

Day 195

If web-caming until we fall asleep is the closest I can get to sleeping with my husband, by darn I will take it. Lucky me that's what we are doing right now, falling asleep on each other. So of course you will understand if I keep this short.

Baby I LOVE YOU! That is all. Sleep well XOXO

Day 194

Ah, its been such a good day, I am currently on webcam with my love and he has friends over and they are all arguing about something or other and it is really quite entertaining. I am tempted to make myself a drink and join in but then I think nah! Let them have their fun. Its so entertaining.

Baby I loves you! Sorry I keep interrupting your friend time, but If i don't talk to you when you have people over then I would never talk to you cuss you would call me and fall asleep within five minutes! lol, I miss you like crazy. Love you babe.

Day 193

I am keeping this real short as i am going to bed on webcam with my love.

Baby, i love you so much. Sorry for all the arguments past, present and future. You are all to me and I love you for all eternity.

Day 192

Had a really great day today, got to talk to my baby lots and I got to see my brother! Which is awesome because I never get to see him anymore. Him and the hubby argued over cars over the webcam which was quite entertaining although I think they mostly scolded me. lol. I have once again got into role-playing and I am working on a new one hoping that it will be super active and work well.

Baby! So happy you like to spoil me because I love watching you play video games, you make the funniest faces and say the funniest things. I love you so, so much and I cannot wait to be in your arms once again. Have a great day my love.

Day 191

So today was really really good. I got to talk to my baby a lot! There was some minor drama between me and two friends and I don't really think its resolved but there isn't much I can do about it. We will just have to wait and see how that one turns out. I decided to look at baby clothes because I have tons of friends either with little ones or who have little ones on the way and I found this really cool website http://www.punkbabyclothes.net/index.html it has all types of alternative baby clothes which I love and I know a lot of my friends will love too. No I am not pregnant, nor do I plan on becoming pregnant any time soon. I just like looking at the cute shoes and onesies.

Baby I am so happy i got to talk to you today and that I was able to help you out. That always makes me feel so good knowing I can help you from half the world away. I love you so, so much. Get lots of sleep tonight and have a great day at work and I will talk to you after you have rested up. XOXO

Day 190

Ugh i keep moving wrong and twinging my shoulder and it hurts like heck! Anyways, today was Valentines day and I spent half of it hanging out with a friend and the other half watching television on the internet. I was able to talk to my love today which I didn't think I was going to be able to so that of course made me uber happy! No special dinners, no flowers or gifts, but I got to see his gorgeous face and send him off to work and that right there is ten times better than what was said before.

Baby! i really really love you and I am secretly super happy you don't make a big deal about valentines day because its a horrid holiday all about the marketing and cards. Any day I get to spend with you is a happy day for me. Have a great day at work love!

Day 189

I'm gonna keep it short tonight. I'm writing this post before baby talks to me tonight so I have no idea when he could call. It could be a minute from now or an hour or more from now. I have been watching Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood at the request of my hubby (its so weird typing that) and so thats what I am going to continue watching until he calls.

Baby I love you and I cannot wait to see your gorgeous face tonight and hear that sweet voice. I'm getting butterflies just thinking about it. See you soon love!

Day 188

Ok, so now that I have a ton of time to write, I'm actually going to write! I am married, officially, legally wed. It is weird seeing my last name as his, I haven't even practiced my signature yet, even though I am definitely going to have to get a start on that soon. My mom is amazing and threw me a beautiful bridal shower, and my best friend threw me a surprise bachelorette party, since we were all underage it was very clean except a certain shaped cake and pin the macho on the man game. Those were pics that did not go up on Facebook. At my bridal shower I got a crock pot, rice maker/food steamer, pizza stone, stoneware casserole dish, onion tomato and garlic keepers, double spoon rest, OPI nail lacquer and some gag gifts like the honey do whistle, honeymoon survival kit, and random dice. Justin saw the whistle and was like "I'd break that in one day!" which is the reaction I knew he would have lol. His mom brought me a marble rolling pin which was really pretty and his dad and step-mom gave us 100 for when I get over there we can pick out something we both want together. Maddi and mom put together a collage picture frame for me which is pics of me and Justin when we were little and in high school. I think that was honestly my favorite gift. Now I have to go out and buy thank you cards, fill them out, and pray to god I remember to send them. I totally forgot about them after my graduation party and I didn't remember until just a couple days ago and I graduated over a year ago. Yeah I am bad about little stuff like that.

Baby, I am so happy you liked the stuff I picked out. And that your anime is so epically awesome. I wish I could be cuddled up right next to you watching it. You are, and will always be, the light and love of my life. I am so blessed to say that I get to spend the rest of my life by your side and I can't wait to actually get there and be with you. Hang in there, not too long and we will be together again. I love you.

Day 187

So today was my bridal shower and bachelorett party and it was pretty awsome. Got lots of fun pics, and cool presents. I also got a pic of my love when he was a baby. Kisses and hugs! Its awsome. And now we are going to watch movies so its going to be short.

I love you baby so much and I really wish you were here to share in this stuff with me even though its technically for me only. I can't wait to have a good long webcam convo with you and tell you everything! I miss you so much, talk to you tomorrow!

Day 186

Today was such a good day! I got a ton of sleep, and talked to the love of my life for like three hours! Granted I slept for one and a half of them, but the point was is that he was there, and when I woke up with a start I could see him on my computer screen playing his zombies on the Xbox. And that is as close to perfect as my life gets right now. Seeing him, listening to his voice, and feeling the love even though we are a hundred thousand miles apart.

Baby, I love you so much, and today was so amazing. Even though we are miles apart I feel as loved as if you had your arms around me while I slept. You are an amazing man and I am so lucky to be able to call you mine. I belong to you, always and forever.

Day 185

After yesterdays post, I don't really know what to write about. I feel the same as I did a week ago, should I feel different? Im legally bound to the love of my life, but I felt like we were soulfully bound a long time ago. I took his last name, and that is taking some getting use to. Random people (family) call me by my new last name and it feels weird, takes a second to realize they are talking to me. lol. I am really exausted, spent a good portion of the day on the road so im going to keep this short, im sure one of these days when I have energy i will write a big long post about it all but honestly your lucky to be getting even this tonight. I almost forgot about it.

Baby! I love you and that will never change. I love how we havn't changed either with how we talk. Now you just joke about being stuck with me more, you joked about it before though so i just laugh at you. I miss you tons and I hope you have a great day at work. Hugs and Kisses!

Day 184 - I am Married!

Its been one hundred and eighty four days since Justin left to his new home in Germany but today it was made official through the state of Montana, we are legally bound in matrimony. I am so happy. I was able to talk to him on webcam and that was really great, although I am still holding back tears because I don't really want to cry on what is officially my wedding day. The only official one I will ever get and we are thousands of miles apart but I was still able to see his face and laugh with him. He really is the greatest man in the whole world and I love him with my whole heart.

Baby, even though we couldn't be together the day we were legally bound it was still an amazing experience to share with you. Thank god for technology. I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't been able to see you tonight and share a small part of this great day with you. I love you.

Day 183

I am writing this post early tonight but I am so tired I want to make sure it is written and I don't forget it. Today was a good day, just long. Not really going to write a whole lot.

Baby, thank you so much for every second you give me of facetime I love you very much and being able to see your face, even for just a moment makes my day. Love you.

Day 182

Oh its been a long day I am very ready for bed. We got a lot done today and I got to webcam with my love so that made me uber happy! Its gonna be a short post tonight.

Love you babe, hope you have a great day and I will talk to you again soon.

Day 181

Woke up today and webcamed by love but he had a friend over and was playing video games and I was so out of it I didn't register he made fun of me for a full ten minutes until after we hung up. But I spent time with my mommy lots and webcamed with baby for quite a few hours which of course made me a very happy woman! And then I drove to my friends house and now I will be here for the next couple of days helping her out while I can.

Baby, you are the very best ever! I love you so so much! Hugs and Kisses and have a great day! Love you!!!!!!

Day 180

So today was really quite good. It started off at five A.M. with a text from my love telling me he had sent me an e-mail. I read it and it turns out he got a great deal on the virus protection for our computers. So when I woke up this morning I listened to a song he sent me which was amazing and then downloaded the new antivirus. Then his dad called and asked if they could come over to our house instead of us going to them and that worked out really well I think and they came over this afternoon his dad and step mom and met with my mom and her boyfriend and they were here for three-ish hours and there was only one awkward pause which was really great. They all got along with each other really well. It made me very happy. And then I had a friend come over to the house which I hadn't visited with in a very long time so that was really nice. We were talking for at least five hours. We did get on the topic of religion which can be touchy with her because I am pagan and she is christian but it went over very well all things considered. I made myself sound like a crazy person, but that's normal for when I explain my beliefs.

Thank you so much baby for the awesome antivirus you bought, I love it! and good news, our parents got on well. Now my mom just has to meet yours and my dad everyone including you. That's the one thing that sucks about family being so far away. Anyways, we are so close now I love you so much! This is all really happening it feels like a dream. Have a great nights sleep I will talk to you soon.

Day 179

Today was a good day, I got to talk to my baby a lot tonight and I am happy to say that he had a very good time. Its his weekend. Tomorrow we are doing one fourth of the parent meet and greet, my mom and his dad which is just barely in time before we are officially married which should be next week between wednesday and Friday sometime, I am not quite sure when right now but you can be sure on the day I will have a lot to write about.

Well baby, we are so very close now and I know I have butterflies. Just imagine what will be in my stomach a couple of days before I join you, giant butterflies or grasshoppers or something. But I am so excited. I cannot wait to spend my life with you and discover together all the adventures we will have. It wont be easy but I know we can make it though anything because our love is strong. You are my only one, forever. Sleep well baby.

Day 178

So today started out OK, I was up until two in the morning freaking out because I watched hoarders, never watching that show again unless I want to get into the freak clean mode. I picked up my room and made some progress, I need more boxes though because my books have used up all the ones I had and there are a lot more to pack up. I got to talk to my love on the webcam which of course made me uber happy and now I am wearing his t-shirt which has the faint smell of him that I love.

Baby, I can't wait until we are together and I can go through your clothes whenever and wear whatever t-shirts I please, although I am wearing my favorite one right now. Not really sure why its my favorite, but it is. I miss you and I love you and I wish you wouldn't pick on me quite so much even though I partly love it and partly hate it. I'm so torn and you love getting a rise out of me. You make me smile so much my jaw hurts, my cheeks hurt right now cuss I am smiling thinking about it. I really do love you and I hope you have an amazing day. We are so close now!

Day 177

I am all registered for my wedding at different stores, i probably have a lot of the same stuff but everywhere is different. I am happy me and mom got macys and bed bath and beyond done. Then me and lizzy bonded over some television which was good, we don't do that much. I was not nearly as bitchy today as I feel i have been the past week although i started watching hoarders and it makes me want to totally deep clean my room. You have no idea.

Baby, do not ever let me become a hoarder. Make me throw stuff away. Its disgusting. I dont think i will but im just saying. I love you! Have a good day!